Archives: October 2018
Another “Bonnie And Clyde” Movie Is Happening
The only way film snobs would be okay with Hollywood remaking 1967’s Bonnie and Clyde would be to make the exact same movie with the original stars, Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty. But since we all know what can happen when those two get together, that’s probably not a great idea. Instead, Variety is reporting that a new Bonnie and Clyde is in the works starring Chloe Grace Moretz and Jack O’Connell.
What Some Of The Daytime Talk Shows Did For Halloween
There are few things more American than the enduring tradition of daytime talk show Halloween hi-jinks. You take a bunch of middle-aged talking heads, a squad of professional makeup artists and costume designers, and a squealing studio audience; put ‘em in a pop culture blender on puree and voila! Whoopi Goldberg dressed as a purple baby vampire. And there’s no getting out of it at this point. It’s a whole thing now, everybody must participate. Do you think Ryan Seacrest enjoys sitting in a makeup chair for three hours and getting cinched up in a corset? I don’t know his life! But he does it whether he likes it or not.
On This Halloween, “Today” And “Good Morning America” Terrorized The 80s
For many Halloweens, the hateful demons at Today have give us many soul-melting night terrors by doing their hosts up like dark-sided creatures that crawled out of the sticky asshole of Hell. Like the time they dressed the entire Today show crew as Peanuts possessed by Satan, and the time they committed a horrible case of blasphemy by dropping a Matt Lauer shit all over the pristine image of earth angel Dolly Parton. They played it mostly safe this Halloween. I say “mostly safe,” because I hate them for causing my nipple tips to tingle and my b-hole ring to quiver while looking at Jenna Bush Hager in man drag as Goose from Top Gun. I should call 911 and report Today for actually making me get moist in the tip over drag king Jenna Bush Hager.
Today went with an 80s theme this year. Well, most of them did anyway. Hoda Kotb got lost in the early-70s while making her way to the 80s.
Demi Lovato Will Spend The Rest Of The Year In Rehab
Demi Lovato checked into rehab back in August after she was found unconscious in her home after a suspected overdose. It was reported that she’d be there for a while, something I think everyone could agree was a good choice. The general consensus was she’d be in recover for a few months, and now we’re learning that Demi won’t be out until sometime in 2019.
Sylvester Stallone’s Sexual Assault Investigation Is Over, And He Won’t Be Charged
Earlier this summer, it was revealed that Sylvester Stallone was being investigated by the Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office regarding an alleged sexual assault that took place in the 1990s. An anonymous woman came forward late last year with her story. Even though her allegations were outside of the statute of limitations, authorities still decided to investigate. But the investigation has come to an end, and Variety says the L.A. District Attorney’s Office has dropped the case.
Justin Bieber Has Shaved His Head
They’ve barely been married a month, yet Hailey Baldwin’s sobering influence has already made an indelible mark on Justin Bieber. Gone are the wispy “Barbie doll that has seen some shit” strands of gold that once enveloped Justin’s head like the mane of a jaundiced lion with rickets and mange. Justin Bieber has shaved his head. According to People, Justin posted his transformation yesterday in an Instagram story, when just a few months ago he had vowed he’d never cut his hair again. He said he was going to grow it down to his toes. He lied.