All we’ve ever needed to know about what possibly happens behind John Mayer’s closed bedroom door can be found on his face during a particularly intense guitar riff. And yet, he’s still more than happy to spill the details of his sex life for anyone who dares ask. We know he used to jerk off all the time, that he would have sold all his stuff to keep fucking Jessica “Sexual Napalm” Simpson, and who could forget the David Duke dick thing. And now we know more! Prepare yourselves accordingly.
John recently opened up about sex on his unofficial Instagram Live show Current Mood. He was joined by Cazzie David, who used to date Pete Davidson, which practically makes this a Six Degrees of Sexual Oversharing situation. John went live on Instagram on Monday and for almost 45 minutes he answered questions on masturbating, how many people he’s had sex with, and whether or not he’s ever played his own songs while getting busy. Here’s a brief collection of some of the more John Mayer-y moments.
On if he masturbates to his own music: “I don’t think I’ve masturbated to any music, except when I was much younger and MTV was all there was for a young man. In what world do you imagine that a man would masturbate to his own music?”
On whether a girl has ever asked John to play his music while they have sex: “No, but a girl has asked me to sing some of my songs in probably the run up to it…You know, this is my early 20s, and people would come up and they would go ‘Sing the song,’ and I probably did in my early 20s. I probably used my music to hook up a couple of times.”
On 41-year-old John Mayer’s current sex drive: “I think being a famous man is somewhat similar to be a beautiful woman, which means yes there is access, there’s very seldom any desire. The older I get, the less desirous I am about unsheathing new body parts.”
Cazzie also asked him: “Blink twice if you’ve slept with over 800 people.” John didn’t blink, and so she amended her question to “over 500 people.” John still wasn’t blinking, but he also wouldn’t say what the number is. But at least we know now that it’s either 500 or lower, and that he’s in the “soft 500 club.” To that John says:
“By the way, what does it say about my expectations that if you find out that I’ve slept with less than 500 [people]? You’re kind of impressed with me? Like ‘He’s a good guy.'”
I would have thought the soft 500 club is a group of 500 dudes who couldn’t get it up because “Your Body Is A Wonderland” was playing in the background.
Of all the oversharing John did, I’m disappointed that he didn’t get specific and say what kind of MTV videos he was cranking down to. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was horny enough to beat off to those giant foam prop asses in the “Baby Got Back” video.