Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Marshal Mallow Hot Cocoa!

When us children of the 80s wanted to feel our eyes throb with the sensation of wonder by watching shriveled-up white nubs magically grows into delicious (they weren’t that delicious) fluffy (they weren’t that fluffy) marshmallows in hot water, we turned to Swiss Miss hot chocolate. But I guess children of the 70s, and very early 80s, turned to Marshal Mallow!

While looking like Wilford Brimley’s younger Texas cousin, Marshal Mallow was the face of Carnation’s hot cocoa mix that had star-shaped marshmallows in it. There were star-shaped, because Marshal Mallow was a sheriff, duh! Every thing of Marshal Mallow hot cocoa also came with a sticker, so I’m sure that out there are many old ass busted wooden dressers with a Marshal Mallow sticker stuck to the front of one of its drawers. Those dressers are now worth thousands upon thousands of dollars, I’m sure!

The commercial showed Marshal Mallow moseying on into some saloon full of children and telling them that he was going to hypnotize them with his hot cocoa and make them see stars. If this commercial came out today, Chris Hansen would be the next one moseying on into that saloon to bust Marshal Mallow for drugging children! And “eat ’em up stars” is not to be confused with Drake’s life mottoeat ’em up dirt stars.”

And if eating Marshal Mallow’s marshmallows made you see stars, I wonder what you’d see if you snorted them up. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to troll eBay for an unopened package of Marshal Mallow hot chocolate.

Pic: Pinterest

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