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October 16, 2018 / Posted by:

Skinny Bones!

I am a child of the 80s who thinks that the 1980s was the golden era of ridiculous foolery… and then I see something from the 1970s that confirms to me that everyone was on serious kinds of drugs then. Case in point: Skinny Bones, a toy that was equal parts WHAT. THE. FUCK. and a nightmare inside of a nightmare.

Marx Toy Company (who bit the dust in 1980) must’ve bought a tent company at a fire sale and decided to use the metal tent parts for a terrifying stick figure doll called Skinny Bones. They started selling Skinny Bones in 1970, and not long after decided to expand the skinny terror by selling his horrifying sister Ginny Bones. Skinny and Ginny were construction kits that allowed children to create a being of evil that was the size of them. Again, people were on serious kind of drugs in the 1970s, because there were parents out there who actually allowed (and paid to have) this kind of monstrosity in their homes.

While the likes of Kunty Karl Lagerfeld look at Skinny Bones and Ginny Bones and think, “Go on a diet, fatties!,” the rest of look at these things, and while trying not to make contact with their eye domes of evil, we pull out our crucifixes and vats of holy water.

Since every demon from the colon of hell needs a dark-sided sidekick to help them spread the evil, Skinny had a pet horse named Nag Bones and Ginny had a pet dog named Ham Bones.

On an episode of Thrift Hunters, the Thrift Hunters encountered Skinny Bones (at the 0:58) and actually spent a good pile of coins on it.

So, if you’re tired of having a soul and want to pay to have it removed, hunt down a Skinny or Ginny Bones doll and bring them into your home. Souls are obviously the only thing they do eat.

Pics: Retroist, Big Red Toy Box 

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