This is why we’re losing to China. As a Bostonian, I don’t necessarily get how New Yorkers have heart palpitations if their bagels aren’t from the corner deli, or if their pizza isn’t from some hole-in-the-wall place that likely has failed every health inspection for the last fifty years. I have class, which is why Chili’s is my idea of fine dining. Cough. Anyway, when Apple released a sneak peak of its latest batch of emojis, there was a bagel, which is great because it gives sickos like me another option when trying to signal butt stuff. It looked like a regular, plain bagel you get in the bread aisle at the grocery store, which didn’t phase most of us, but New Yorkers lost it. Apple has since done a do-si-backstep and changed the lewk.
It was the biggest food scandal since IHOP tried to fuck around with its name, but Eater says Apple has issued a mea culpa to New York since it probably sells a ton of iPhones there…or they were just tired of people complaining about the bagel since February. See for yourself:
I’m organizing a march in New York City against Apple’s just-revealed bagel emoji, which comes out with the next iOS update. It looks like something you get from a cardboard box in the freezer section at Walmart. This insult will not stand. pic.twitter.com/Z44YFBuUlU
— Downtown Josh Brown (@ReformedBroker) October 3, 2018
Bagel emojis need
— Seamless (@Seamless) October 3, 2018
Even Philadelphia Cream Cheese started dragging the bagel emoji, but I feel like that’s just because they weren’t being used as emoji shmear. Nobody likes a dry peen, and nobody likes a dry bagel, Apple! DUH!. Well, apparently there is a title of “Chief Emoji Officer” and this Jeremy Burge, CEO at Emojipedia, noticed Apple swapped out the emoji for a bagel appealing to New Yawkas because it was shmeared up and clearly looked hand-rolled – so no more of that emoji Sara Lee shit!
— Emojipedia 📙🎃 (@Emojipedia) October 15, 2018
The new bagel lewk seems to show the carb-y treat was both boiled and baked. Ooooo. Ahhhhh. Microsoft and Samsung still have dry-as-a-bone bagel, so if you rolled your eyes for the entirety of this story, buy a Droid!