Because Duchess Meghan just had to find another way to make us hard-up, desperate, pathetic Prince Hot Ginge-lovers seethe with jealousy by letting us know that she bareback bones him on the regular, she has announced today that she’s pregnant with the seventh in line to the British throne. But I may not be the only one whose chonies are twisted up in a knot of hate over this news. The bloomers of Princess Eugenie and The Original Fergie™ might be too, because the BBC says that Duchess Meghan and Prince Hot Ginge told THE QUEEN and other first tier royals the baby news on Friday at Eugenie’s wedding at Windsor Castle. No, I’m sure that Princess Eugenie and Fergie are just oh-so-happy with this news and will send 37-year-old Meghan and 34-year-old PHG a congratulations bouquet with a note saying that they should name their child Prince or Princess Attention Whore Of Sussex since the fetus stole poor Eugenie’s spotlight! I love it.
It seemed pretty clear to many that Meghan locked it down when she didn’t take her coat off during Eugenie’s wedding. And it became really clear when she held two binders over her baby growing area when she and PHG arrived in Sydney today for the Invictus Games. Meghan probably didn’t want to spend most of her trip to Australia trying to find ways to cover up her stomach, so Kensington Palace made the news official this morning.
Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Sussex is expecting a baby in the Spring of 2019. pic.twitter.com/Ut9C0RagLk
— Kensington Palace (@KensingtonRoyal) October 15, 2018
The ginger fetus royale in Meghan’s womb is at least 12 weeks old.
Duchess Meghan and PHG got married only five months ago, so they didn’t waste anytime. They bareback fucked like it was their job (which it is). But I can’t blame Meghan for that. If I was her, people would constantly ask me if there’s something wrong with my legs since my husband is always giving me front piggyback rides everywhere and I’d have to say, “Um, because duh, I jumped on this royal crotch scepter on my wedding night and I’m not letting it go until a baby pushes it out.”
And I’m guessing that Meghan’s evil half-sister Samantha Markle has already moved onto a prime spot in front of the Lindo Wing door. Samantha wants to be the first Markle to meet Meghan’s baby and by that I mean she wants to curse Meghan and PHG in front of the cameras while wearing a bootleg Maleficent costume.