Open Post: Hosted By Elon Musk’s Teslaquilla

Based on Elon Musk’s recent behavior, if I had to predict a side-project he’d get into, I might guess a line of zero-gravity rolling papers or a better home security system. As it turns out, Elon Musk is launching a tequila brand.

This all started six months ago when Elon celebrated April Fool’s Day by tweeting that Tesla had gone “so bankrupt.” Part of the joke was that Elon had drowned his sorrows in an obvious play on Tesla and tequila.

Elon was found passed out against a Tesla Model 3, surrounded by "Teslaquilla" bottles, the tracks of dried tears still visible on his cheeks.

This is not a forward-looking statement, because, obviously, what's the point?

Happy New Month! pic.twitter.com/YcouvFz6Y1

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 1, 2018

Tesla isn’t bankrupt yet, but the part about Teslaquila was true. TMZ says that Elon has filed legal documentation to start a Tesla-branded tequila company. According to the documents, Elon claims that Tesla will start manufacturing “distilled agave liquor” and has filed trademark applications for Teslaquila. “Teslaquila” sounds too much like a form of gut rot you get in your lower intestine from eating the worm.

Despite this all starting on April Fool’s, it’s definitely not a joke. Elon tweeted that his tequila will be coming soon and posted a mock-up of the label (above).

I know that’s not the real bottle, but it still looks cheap as hell, especially coming from a billionaire. It kind of reminds me of a kid from my high school who used to sneak booze to school in an empty Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo bottle. Despite that bottle design, tequila is a great idea for Tesla. Especially for people who work at Tesla. It’s the perfect thing to get drunk on when you’re a board member and you remember the mess you just inherited.

Pic: @ElonMusk