Kanye West acted a whole damn mess in the White House yesterday when he visited Donald Trump. He ranted about how he’s not really bipolar just sleep deprived, how Trump made him feel like a boy who actually had a father, how putting on a hat somehow made him feel like Superman (who dresses like a nerd to pretend to be human), how Trump should ask Apple to develop a hydrogen-powered plane to replace Air Force One, called iPlane 1 (what a creative dude) and a bunch of other shit I honestly have been trying to avoid finding out. This highway freakshow has been out of hand for quite some time and I think we’ve had enough. But you know who hasn’t? Kanye West.
Page Six reports that after the meeting in the White House so insanely bizarre it made Trump staring at an eclipse somehow look less stupid, Kanye decided to follow it up with a trip to the Georgetown Apple store. Was Kanye there to get a new phone since his crack code of 000000 had just been compromised on national television? Maybe, but he was definitely there to give another long-winded non-sensical rant to the people there just trying to silently wait the six hours until their Genius appointment.
Kanye stood up on a table and gave an impromptu “keynote” (his word not mine) speech to the Apple store. This is Kanye West, so a speech from him can vary in topics from flying cars to abolishing the 13th amendment (which is obviously a cohesive jump of topics) but this one seemed focused on a hat which Kanye designed for Trump.
In his table-top tirade, Ye announced that he had made a hat for Donald which reads “Make America Great”. He then showed the crowd of people creaming themselves over how much interaction they were about to get on their social media because they witnessed this fuckery, a picture of Trump wearing said hat.
“It hurts us as people, specifically black people, the idea, because we say, was America ever great for us? So we made an updated hat that said ‘Make America Great,’ and Trump wore the hat so he is open to adjusting and listening.”
Here’s some video of Kanye’s “keynote”:
“…It hurts us as people, specifically black people, the idea, because we say, was America ever great for us? So we made a updated hat that said, lmake America great, and Trump wore the hat so he is open to adjusting and listening” pic.twitter.com/nKgkDUKtga
— Caroline Kelly (@caroline_mkelly) October 11, 2018
After his speech, Kanye left, telling his audience that he was going to Africa. Please don’t, they have enough problems. No word on whether or not Kanye spoke with anyone at the Apple store about his plans for the iPlane before he left, which will cost $18 trillion and still have a line up of people trying to buy it on the first day.
So here’s the thing, after this I genuinely want Kanye West to run for President of the United States. Of course he’s unqualified, full of himself and mostly stupid, but that didn’t stop the last one, so those aren’t really barriers anymore. I don’t mean I think he’ll be a good President (opposite), I just want him to run because those debates? They will be full-tilt mess. I can picture moderator Anderson Cooper just staring into the camera like he’s Jim from The Office while Kanye rants about how time doesn’t exist so prisoners have been in jail for an eternity but only in an alternate universe which is infinite and only in the mind of the collective conscious which is not real but is if we allow ourselves to really believe in the truth of it.
“Kanye,” Anderson would say, “I asked you what you would do about climate change.”