No, this headline, doesn’t mean that Margot Robbie has accepted my standing Sunday afternoon playdate and is bringing her Caboodles case full of Barbies to my house for their weekly hair chopping and felt marker dye job. It means that Margo is in Industry talks to star as Barbie in the live-action movie about the genitalia neutral doll.
The Hollywood Reporter says that Margot’s casting as Barbie is all but cinched, as the project has moved from Sony to Warner Bros. and her own production company, LuckyChap, is set to take it on. This is a major departure from the initial decision that Amy Schumer was taking the role, in what was sure to be a shake up the stereotype of Barbie being the “ideal woman” (“ideal” meaning that if Barbie’s whack measurements were life size, she’d have to crawl around on all fours just to get herself around, like some of us last night on our death crawl to the toilet to puke up that last Jagerbomb).
The Amy as Barbie predicament was one I was looking forward to watching unfold for its potential to be a cinematic train wreck, a la “I Feel Pretty“. And I was really looking forward to “Barbie” making fart and yeast infection jokes while not having the parts that produce farts and yeast infections. But it’s definitely a no go after Amy dropped out last March. According to THR:
“It was first announced in 2014 that Mattel was partnering with Sony for a Barbie movie. In 2016 it was reported that Amy Schumer would star in the movie that was billed as putting a contemporary spin on the toy with an emphasis on feminism and identity. A few months later Schumer dropped out of the project due to “scheduling conflicts.” It was later reported Anne Hathaway would replace Schumer.”
Patty Jenkins of Wonder Woman is also rumored to be up for the job of captaining the Barbie movie with Margot attached. This could be a hit if they play it right. And by play it right, I mean that “Earring Magic” AKA “Cock Ring” Ken MUST have a co-starring role and steal Barbie’s thunder in every frame. “Earring Magic” Ken will rate so high at the box office that Warner Bros. will be forced to kill off Barbie once and for all and “Earring Magic” Ken will finally be the big star he’s deserved to be since he first “came out” in 1993.