When I was little, I lived in the country and spent a lot of time wandering around outside flipping over rocks to find snakes and bugs and other fun things. That was the golden era before cellphones when kids had to entertain themselves without the aid of an electronic device, Goddammit! Well, I wish I could un-flip the rock that unearthed this tidbit of gossip, because when I woke up this morning I was blissfully unaware that Adrienne Bailon-Houghton, the only Cheetah Girl I can name who isn’t Raven-Symone, and my favorite Kartrashian ex, loves to suck on her man’s toes.
What started as an innocent conversation on The Real about rubbing your man’s feet quickly got personal with the hosts divulging some information that, lucky for us perverts, was not better left unsaid. Host Jeannie Mai got the dry heaves over the mention of rubbing nasty feet. Tamera Mowry chimed in “I love my husband’s funk”. The conversation could have been left innocently right then and there, but ratings are ratings, so Adrienne felt the need to drop a non-sequitur bomb in the form of: “So let me get this straight, Jeannie… you don’t suck toes?”.
Who knew that Toe Suckers and Suckees of America needed a spokesperson? Well, they got an exuberant one! The lady Quentin Tarainto brought all of her caffeinated morning talkshow host enthusiasm to the topic, bubbling “I have enjoyed it. Therefore I would gladly reciprocate that erotic feeling.” Adrienne even appeared to convert Tamera, who said “Wait! I want to try this! I have not had my toes sucked.” I’m pretty sure Tamera’s husband’s cell phone was blowing up at home at this point with: “Bro, are you watching your wife’s show? Sounds like you’ll have to cancel our plans ‘cuz you’ll be too busy rubbing your tongue all over her lower phalanges tonight.”
Adrienne has been married for two years to musician Israel Houghton, proud owner of ten assumedly very happy toes. No information has been disclosed on whether it was Rob Kardashian who turned Adrienne onto the sport of shrimping, but he is coincidentally the owner of a fancy sock company, so draw your own conclusions.
And bless the one man in the audience in the clip below for clapping to host Loni Love‘s query “Round of applause if you suck toes“. You know his Saturday night dance card just got a lot more full.