Lady Gaga Says She Was Told To Get A Nose Job When Starting Out 

If this hasn’t been made clear to everyone, Lady Gaga keeps her career trajectory plan in a folder marked “WWBD” (“What Would Babs Do?“). An NYC girl who can sing and is often unbearably pretentious, Gaga also remade A Star Is Born, has already branched out into different genres of music (lite-standards with Tony Bennett and lite-country with whatever the hell Joanne was) in an attempt at career longevity, and she, too, might have a mall in her basement. Gaga and Barbra Streisand also have a fairly prominent nose in common. Remember when Gaga first hit and she was wearing all sorts of headpieces and veils to disguise that schnozz? Well, “fuck you” money equals a “fuck you” nose. Stefani told Sky News at the Star Is Born premiere in London that, like her idol, she also refused to cut off her nose because it would have spited her face or some other badly-used analogy concerning rhinoplasty.

Continue reading

Lindsay Lohan Was Physically Attacked After Trying To Take A Couple’s Child

No, the couple wasn’t composed of two of her ex-fiances. Lindsay Lohan took us on a crackers, 10-minute long Instagram Live journey in Moscow where she chatted up a homeless family, offered them a free night in a hotel, and then snapped and accused them (in both English and what was supposed to be Arabic) of trafficking their children. And then she tried to grab one of their kids away! The mom wasn’t having it and removed Lohan from her sight (much like Hollywood did). Except she used her fists. She probably knew that Lindsay once skipped out on her $46,000 Chateau Marmont bill and figured “why would I bring my family to her hotel when they’re probably trying to kick her ass out for non-payment?”

Continue reading

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Yang Shurong, a master Chinese flutist who is so skilled at the Chinese flute that she can play it upside-down!

During a performance on September 23 at the Mid-Autumn Festival in the city of Qiqihar in the Chinese province of Heilongjiang, audience members nearly had to scream for an oxygen tank when their breath was taken away by Yang Shurong magically playing the cucurbit flute upside-down. The YouTube description says that Yang Shurong and lesser flute players (who were playing their flutes the “right way” like regular pesants) were playing Moonlight Over the Lotus Pond. One of the other flute players tried to let Yang, who organized the entire concert, know she was playing it wrong, but she wasn’t having it. How dare that other player try to correct the Queen of the Cucurbit Flute!

Apparently, she played the flute upside-down because that’s how it was given to her:

Reportedly Yang was playing that way because staff had passed the cucurbit flute to her backward, and she did not want to affect the performance by turning it around.

Yang held the flute in the incorrect position for the rest of the performance.

I am Yang Shurong and Yang Shurong is me. Because I’ll play the flute, the skin flute specifically, anyway it’s handed to me. I’ll play it right-side-up, upside down, sideways, in my mouth, in my ass, etc… That’s how a professional does it!

The YouTube description also delivers us some sad news. It claims that Yang Shurong was pulled from all future performances. They probably pulled her from performance out of jealousy! Or maybe she quit their little group because she knows she’s a worldwide upside-down flute star now and doesn’t need them. Or maybe every time she played the flute upside-down, magical animals would appear and dance on their heads, and it freaked everyone out. Weirdos.

Pic: YouTube

Birthday Sluts

Afternoon Crumbs

It’s been a week and so you deserve to lie down and soothe your nerves while gently resting your head onto Christopher Meloni’s pasty white nalgitas. Although, in these pictures of a chonies-less Christopher Meloni shooting scenes for his TV show Happy, his butt cheeks look a little stressed out. And yes, I see you hos offering to de-stress his ass by running it a Calgon bath and pouring it a glass of red wine  – Just Jared

As Shia LaBeouf and FKA Twigs bump arty fuck parts, their exes Mia Goth and Robert Pattinson posed at the San Sebastian Film Festival premiere of their new movie. And Mia Goth is giving me Robert Palmer girl if Robert Palmer performed on Saturn – Lainey Gossip

Excuse me while I make the same face at Jane Fonda that she made at Megyn Kelly – Pajiba

Kim Richards is no longer on probation – Reality Tea

You can now listen to Robyn’s Honey without having to watch Girls – Towleroad

Tiffany Haddish could’ve been tusslin’ with New York and Hottie for Foofy Foofy’s love – SOW

Hard nipples: Bella Hadid’s got ’em – Drunken Stepfather

Hard nipples: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s got them too – Popoholic

Hard nipples: And so does Alexander Skarsgard! – IWish.org

Pic: Backgrid

Christina Aguilera Might Be Charging More For Plus-Sized Merchandise

Some of us may be large and in charge, but if we head to a Christina Aguilera concert, that could be large and with a lighter wallet. Xtina is embarking on her Liberation tour, and while I’m shocked to hear this thing is coming to venues larger than a dive bar, others are shocked by the price disparity at the merchandise tent. Fans noticed the huss is trying to charge $5 more for bigger clothes! Put that genie back in its bottle and return to sender!

Continue reading