Chris Martin Says Leonardo DiCaprio Is Saving Trees AND Cargo Shorts

September 17, 2018 / Posted by:

If there’s one thing that MIGHT give Leonardo DiCaprio the tingles more than humping on a fresh crop of under 25-year-old models, it’s trying to save the environment while riding in a private jet or whatever. I already knew Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin were friends with Leo because I’m mental and “read” her first cookbook (aka looked at the pictures and snickered at a few ludicrous recipes) and saw how she claims he’s the reason for them not really eating red meat for environmental reasons. Well, “consciously uncoupled” Chris must still be platonic boos with Leo because Coldplay performed at the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation’s 20thanniversary gala on Saturday, and Chris used that as a moment to discuss how Leo is also out to save a species the fashion world would love to see go extinct – no, not Dress Barn. Cargo shorts!

E! News says Chris seemed more than happy to join in with guests to applaud Leo’s advocacy for the world’s wildlife and saving the environment, but he also couldn’t let an opportunity pass by to stand center stage and give his friend some shit. Alas, it wasn’t for his knack of dating women who only just stopped shopping at Baby Gap or his 70s used car salesman getup (eh, I still would) in that Quentin Tarantino movie about the Manson Murders. Instead, it was about his affinity for shorts that have more pockets than Leo had costars on Growing Pains:

“I studied him very closely for about five or six years and what became clear to me was his unbelievable service, his commitment to the business of cargo shorts.This is a guy, he’s seen cargo shorts and he said, ‘I’m going to save these shorts from extinction. They should have gone out about 25 years ago. I’m personally going to fund the sort of renaissances of cargo shorts.’”

Well, considering Mario Batali had a lock on Crocs before he #MeToo exited stage left, Leo likely needed his own brand of bad fashion and said, “Ain’t no chance in hell I’m going with elastic waistbands. Cargo shorts it is!” Chris even managed to sing a little jingle in honor of Leo’s favorite fashion:

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Don’t hate, Chris. There’s no better environmental way to transport a fleet of Victoria’s Secret model back to Pussy Posse HQ than in the pockets of a pair of Old Navy cargo shorts. Not even a Prius gets that kind of mileage.

Pic: Backgrid

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