UPDATE: Or at least Hailey Baldwin claims they didn’t get married yet.
I understand where the speculation is coming from, but I’m not married yet!
— Hailey Baldwin (@haileybaldwin) September 14, 2018
Can someone please go check on Selena Gomez?! And not Taylor Swift – she’ll be too busy cartwheeling around the bedroom in glee to provide much therapy. It was only over our first cup of coffee this morning that Kristian spilled the tea that Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin had been spotted down at the NYC Marriage Bureau yesterday, and some figured they were getting a marriage license and hightailing it to Canada to get married. Well, it sounds like they went ahead and got married at the courthouse after being engaged for two months. And yes, if you’re like me you heard the sound of a shot gun before asking, “Wait, The Biebs can make jizz?”
I guess the court official didn’t keep it on the DL like Justin thought because People is reporting he and Hailey said “Fuck it” to that plan of not rushing their way to “I do” and had a good ol’ fashioned courthouse wedding Thursday. While one snitch said they got married “without listening to anyone,” another asserted that they’re going to follow up yesterday’s legal ceremony with a religious one:
“They’re going to have a big blowout, in front of God and everyone they love.”
By “in front of God,” I hope they mean the Canadian god of Celine Dion (“Hard pass.” –Celine). TMZ did us all a solid for once by going ahead and confirming that Hailey is NOT pregnant, but there is chatter they could get the religious ceremony in Canada out of the way as soon as next week. While most brides have visions of carefully planned seating charts, an expensive dress, and a 14-piece band at her wedding, the People report said Hailey previously blabbed she just pictured “lights strung everywhere.” Sounds like a great time — as long as that’s the only thing strung out at the wedding. Because they are just a little bit older than a zygote, Hailey and Justin do have plans for a massive party sometime next year, but they didn’t feel like waiting so long to walk down the aisle. That’s cute that they think this will still be a thing by 2019, er, I mean, congrats! Young love – so magical! So pure!