Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 12, 2018 / Posted by:

The bong-wielding thief fighter!

Four wannabe robbers in Ontario, Canada tried to rob a weed shop, probably thinking that it’d be an easy job since the workers are most likely stoners whose “give a fuck” mechanism in their brain doesn’t work thanks to all the good shit they smoke up on a minutely basis. But they messed with the wrong one, and obviously haven’t heard of the saying by Edward Bulwer-Lytton: The bong is mightier than some bear spray!

CBC News says that last Thursday, four dudes showed up to the Recreational Cannabis Farmers Market on Old Highway 2 in Shannonville, Ontario, and they were looking to get high alright. High on thieving someone else’s money! Security footage shows, a dude worker walking to the counter while trailed by either a really adorable mouse who is hopped on sativa, or what could be the world’s smallest living dog. About 50 seconds into the video, three of the masked thieves bust in and attack the workers with bear spray. The thieves proved they suffer from stage 10 dumbfuckism right out of the gate by using bear spray as their weapon of choice in a weed shop. They should’ve sprayed some nacho cheese fumes, because if the workers happened to be high on the good shit, they’d be so busy trying to eat the air that the thieves would be able to easily snatch money and sneak out. But they went the bear spray route, and our hero was not going to let them rob his shop. Not last Thursday. Not yesterday. Not today. Not ever. He picked up a bong and went after them. The thieves tried to take our hero down with more bear spray and a recycle bin, but he continued to threaten them with a glass bong to the face and so they skedaddled out of that bitch.

Many parts of this video are my favorite, but I love the moment when the bong wielder is like, “A recycle bin? Fucking really?!”

Kevin Smith’s reboot of King Arthur looks like his best work yet.

Tyendinaga Police Service said on Facebook that the suspects are still on the loose:

Three of the four males entered the store with their faces covered while brandishing canisters of bear spray. They were met with great resistance by the store clerk and despite being sprayed with Bear Spray, the clerk who is from Tyendinaga Mohawk Territory managed to successfully fight them off and force them from the store. The suspects then fled the scene westbound on Old Highway 2 in a white SUV. OPP Forensic Identification Unit came in to provide assistance and collected valuable evidence from the scene.

The incident is still under investigation and if anybody has any information about this Robbery, please contact Cst. Brinklow or D/Cst. Leland of the Tyendinaga Police Service at 613-967-3888.

It should be pretty easy to find those failed thieves. If police happen to pull over a white SUV that fits the description of the getaway car, they should raise a mighty bong at the people in the car. If they start crying for their mommies, police found the thieves who will forever be scared of the bong. And I hope there’s a security camera in that weed shop that shows what goes on behind the counter, because I’m sure there’s footage of that tiny dog chest puffing and going, “Hold me back, bro!” A ferocious little dog and a bong wielding hero? That weed shop will never be fucked with again.

Pic: YouTube

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