As if tearing families apart and ruining orange juice and therefore ruining mimosas (an unforgivable sin) weren’t bad enough, Donald Trump is also responsible for emboldening any asshole with name recognition and a couple of million dollars burning a hole in their pocket, to think they have a shot at becoming President Of The United States. Former championship boxer Oscar De La Hoya is the latest political dilettante to think he should be President, and according to TMZ, he’s launching an exploratory team to test the waters.
“I am actually very, very serious and I strongly feel that if a Kanye West can do it and announce and maybe tease the world that he would maybe one day wanna run for president, why not me?”
Oh, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar. To paraphrase a queen, you should have just sat there and ate your rice. Now, you may be asking yourself the obvious question: Why tho? But you already know the answer, don’t torture yourself. It’s not because he’s frustrated with our current political system that rewards the rich while further marginalizing its most vulnerable citizens. No, he’d just like to have THE BIGGEST VOICE.
“I’ve had literally, over the years, ever since I became a professional in boxing, I’ve had millions of people tell me, ‘Look, why don’t you represent? Why don’t you stand up and have a bigger voice?’ And obviously, the biggest voice you can have is being president.”
Millions? Sure, Jan. And what might Mr. De La Hoya’s politics be? Unclear. All we know if that he “believes strongly in standing for the national anthem” so, I’m guessing he’s not planning on running on a democratic socialist platform.
Oscar and Donald actually have a lot in common. For one, they’re both into beauty pageants. On Wikipedia it says he dated a Miss USA winner who left him after the birth of their child when she saw him on TV at the Latin Grammys with another woman on his arm. Additionally, Oscar knows his way out of a sex scandal is through his wallet. In 1998 Oscar was accused of rape, a case that was eventually settled out of court in 2001. Charming!
Oscar says that if his exploratory team comes back with good news, he’ll make his candidacy official. But I don’t think anybody’s holding their breath on this one. Although they said the same about Trump and I’m still trying to digest my hat from 2015. Urp. Excuse me!