Night Crumbs

Because I guess people don’t have enough reasons to get the heaves, mustard pizza exists. While you nasty mustard pizza-eating motherfuckers wrap your mouths around that atrocity, I’m going to cuddle up to a pretzel and tell it that it has nothing to worry about and everything will be okay. And yes, then I’m going to murder it by eating it… with mustard the way God intended! – Pajiba

I looked at these pictures of a teenage Pax Jolie-Pitt looking grown, and ten seconds later my first issue of AARP arrived in my mail – Lainey Gossip 

“Errr, as soon as we know for sure that casting a gay as a superhero won’t hurt our checking accounts,” said a Marvel executive to Kit Harington – Towleroad

In case you were wondering what a turd out of the 90s’ ass looks like, here’s Rita Ora wearing one – Drunken Stepfather

Sonja Morgan is in Paper giving us FASHUN, which means she’s giving us sad and hungry – Reality Tea 

FYI: The blonde one from Pretty Little Liars never confirmed that she’s bumpin’ ‘ginas full-time with Cara Delavingne – Just Jared

Robert Pattinson is not about to shit on the money-making machine that made him a millionaire many times over, but that’s okay, many have an endless supply of caca when it comes to shitting on Twilight, so we’ll do it for him – Celebitchy

Why do I have a feeling that Helena Bonham Carter’s closet is missing the exact outfit that Chloe Grace Moretz is wearing here?  – Popoholic

Okay, but of course Andy Cohen talks to dudes at urinals – Towleroad

Nancy Sinatra just burned all her boots after seeing this picture of Our Lady of Cheetos serving poolside elegance in suntannin’ boots – Hollywood Tuna

Pic: @InsiderFood