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September 11, 2018 / Posted by:

Mother’s Fudge Flaky Flix!

On this here blog, I used to make it one of my missions to keep the memory of Mother’s Circus Animal Cookies alive. When Mother’s went broke and filed for bankruptcy ten years ago, my eyes squirted out several tears over the loss of the most delicious way to get diabetes: Circus Animal Cookies. Tongue palates temporarily stopped working, because what is the point of trying to taste food if one of the most delicious foods of them all was no longer available? But then the dark clouds cleared and we all declared we could live again after Kellogg’s bought all of Mother’s recipes and made mouths jizz again by selling Circus Animal Cookies. Circus Animal Cookies are available in stores right now… until PETA goes after Kellogg’s and makes them change the name to Wild Not Caged Animal Cookies.

But while the cookies that look like gay animals after getting jizzed on by a rainbow are available to our mouths, there’s some Mother’s cookies that Kellogg’s hasn’t brought back yet. Fudge Flaky Flix falls under that category.

The internet doesn’t seem to know exactly when Mother’s Fudge Flaky Flix made its debut onto the cookie shelves, but they went away after the bankruptcy tragedy.

Flaky Flix, which sounds like the name of Netflix’s lazy cousin who sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t, came in two flavors: fudge and vanilla. It was a wafer cookie with cream slathered between it and it was covered with chocolate and sprinkled with cornflakes. I never had the vanilla one, but the fudge one was like a delicious peen covered with delicious genital warts. I know I really sold it to you with that description.

Until Kellogg’s does the right thing and brings back Flaky Flix, you’ll have to make your own using recipes online. Or if you’re like me and don’t like to use your hands to do shit like cook, get one friend to open your mouth lips wide and another friend to shove Kit Kats, Corn Flakes and Hershey’s syrup into your eating hole until you pass out from a sugar coma. It’d be just like eating a bag of Flaky Flix!

Pic: KYM

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