Uber Bro and occasional Olympic swimmer, Ryan Lochte fulfilled the wet dreams of every broski in America by marrying an ex-Playboy playmate back in January at a courthouse in Florida. According to People, 34-year-old Ryan and 27-year-old Kayla Rae Reid finally celebrated with an “intimate, outdoor wedding”. Just once I would love these publications to describe a celebrity wedding as “a shit show at a reception hall.” Just once.
The couple got married at Monroe Estate in Palm Springs, CA yesterday in front of 100 of their closest friends and family. I don’t even know 100 people to invite somewhere. Being famous must be nice. The two already have a one-year-old son Caiden Zane (they describe him as 15-months-old but bitch: that’s one year) and he served as ring bearer for his beautiful blonde parents.
Since the couple was already married this was pure pomp and circumstance. And pomp is what these two brought. This party was classy with a capital K: guests entered the ceremony and were welcomed with tequila shots (obviously) but these were fancy tequila shots, they were served in “custom shot glasses that also served as place cards.” I love when you see a couple coming together in compromise. Clearly Ryan was like: “Babe we need to welcome people with tequila shots! The dudes would love it! Just like we did at the frat parties, chyeah!” and Kayla soured her face and then smiled sweetly and replied: “…Okay but… the shot glasses have to be, like, elegant or something.” And he we are.
There was also a “romantic vibe” created through “cappuccino roses, sunset roses and white roses, crystals and lots of candles for decor.” Who doesn’t love decorating your wedding with plentiful fire hazards? Here’s what they looked like while getting married in 108 degree weather:
Ryan also had a bit of nerves ahead of the big day, even though the couple were already technically hitched:
“We’re already married on paper, but for the past 20 days I’ve been getting nervous… We already know everything about each other, and now it’s time to celebrate!”
The couple explains that they wanted to use their son as a part of their wedding so that’s why they waited so long between the civil marriage and their big-ass party:
“Since we had Caiden, we both wanted him to be a part of [our wedding] in some way… We wanted Caiden to be old enough to walk down the aisle. One of our visions was to have him be able to be the ring bearer, so it’s perfect timing!”
No mention of the vows these two exchanged, which I think is a disservice to readers such as I. Everyone knows that Ryan Locthe is great with his words, so I really want to know what he came up with when speaking from his heart to the love of his life. In my imagination the exchange went a little bit like this: