Denise Richards is getting married today in Malibu and it’s been reported by Us Weekly that Charlie Sheen is invited. There are no promises, I’m just saying that there could be reports of tiger blood shed or a menagerie of “goddesses” creating a champagne and canapé shortage at the reception before jumping into the pool. There may or may not be a drug dealer arrested lurking around the valet booth, and we might be able to see video footage of Charlie grabbing the mic off of a bridesmaid for an impromptu wedding speech. In other words, Denise Richards is getting married to Aaron Phypers today, and it could be the greatest wedding of this century.
This story of forgiveness is a reminder that Denise is actually the rational one in the cast of characters of the Charlie Sheen Universe. A few months ago Charlie claimed that he was too broke to pay Denise the $55,000 monthly child support he had been paying BOTH her and ex-wife Brooke Mueller. Denise also sued Charlie for pocketing the $1.2 million he made after he sold the house she had been living in with their two daughters out from under them. Celebrities, they’re
richer than fuck vindictive muthafuckas just like us!
Denise only announced her wedding two days ago, but they have reportedly been together for about a year. They met around their neighborhood while Denise was walking her dog (she’s an animal rights advocate) and Aaron was living there with his ex-wife of six months Nicollette Sheriden. I guess he has a type for sizzling hot sex symbols of a certain age, but it should be mentioned that Aaron is not too shabby in the physique department himself, as evidenced below.
Denise will appear on the new season of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills with Lisa Rinna, current wife of Harry Hamlin. Harry used to be married to Nicollette. So Denise and Lisa have practically slept together already! I can’t wait for Denise and Lisa to open their diaries and compare
strains of STDs notes. I wonder of Nicollette is solely responsible for teaching their men all the sexy time moves, and if so, perhaps Denise should be shouting out Nicollette’s name tonight instead of Aaron’s.
Nicollette also dated that fine, curly haired elevator music God (not to be confused with Kenny G.) Michael Bolton, so let’s make this the best “menage a quatre” of all time and hope that Denise and Aaron’s first dance is to Michael’s version of “When A Man Loves A Woman”. I’d love to see Charlie cutting in on the first dance to that beautiful track.