It is hot, hot, HAWT on the East Coast this week, and it’s making every trick lose their damn mind – especially at the U.S. Open. The tennis tournament may be known over the years for its stickler geezer rules on the tennis court – just ask Alize Cornet and her sports bra – it also apparently is a free-for-all in the stands – just ask Ashlee Simspon and her “dancing.” Anna Wintour must have taken the day off from her other full-time job as a tennis spectator because they let people have fried shit like chicken fingers in the stands. One video happened to catch a woman serving us a prime case of “da FUQ you doing?” just as she dipped a chicken finger it what appears to be a Big Gulp cup of Coca-Cola. Chick-fil-A, please don’t get any ideas.
SB Nation says the woman was caught on camera doing shit you might expect the little boy next to her to do:
— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) September 3, 2018
Hell, even he seems to be tossing her a case of side-eye while he sips on that drink to stop him from swearing, “Where in the hell are your taste buds?! Also, don’t dip that in my drink next, you weirdo.” Because social media is a nice place of warm, fuzzy people with zero penchant for shade, nothing was said about this woman. Just kidding, they said plenty:
— Nara-Lee Todd (@nletodd) September 3, 2018
Just seen a lady at US Open dipping her chicken finger into her soda. Wtf??
— DMA (@TennisMajesty) September 3, 2018
While I’m sure Paula Deen is somewhere looking for a 2-liter bottle of Barq’s Root Beer to go with tonight’s supper, one other SB Nation reporter is at the U.S. Open and tried to say the dunking may have happened because of a ketchup shortage:
cause all the ketchup dispensers are out, I checked. It's a disaster here rn https://t.co/2I9IshsdNQ
— Frank Bi (@FrankieBi) September 3, 2018
Didn’t Beyoncé (and Hillary Clinton cough) teach us anything? Everyone needs a hot sauce purse for emergencies like these!