Finally, Claire Danes isn’t the ugliest crier in her household. According to the Associated Press, she and husband Hugh Dancy welcomed a new sobbing mess in the form of a baby boy on August 21. I think I read somewhere that newborns don’t actually produce tears and snot when they cry, but I have seen them get all red and rude, so sorry Claire, you must pass the mantle.
Claire announced her recently concluded pregnancy on The Howard Stern Show back in April. This is the couple’s second child, they have a 5-year-old son with three first names, Cyrus Michael Christopher. At the rate they’re going, the world’s supply of common European male Christian names is in peril. If you want to use the names John, William or James anytime in the near future, you better call dibs on them now before the Danes-Dancys do.
I hope Claire makes Jared Leto the Godfather of this baby and he sends her all sorts of over-the=top Gucci onesies, Dolce & Gabbana satin diapers, and a solid gold pacifier. If they make Mandy Patinkin the Godfather, I hope he gives the baby the complete works of Sondheim and a beard grooming kit. And if Hugh’s Hannibal costar Mads Mikkelsen gets the honor, then I hope he gives me his number because I just really need to talk to him. Privately. About some sex things. Sorry if I made this birth announcement weird and about me, but I have needs.