Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 25, 2018 / Posted by:

Lauren, the gloriously lucky human who was picked by the gloriously extra BBP (big beautiful pussy) Bruno to be his new caretaker!

This is an update to the story about one of my favorite HSOTDs of August, Bruno, the extra-toed 25-pound chunky loaf of fur who loves standing on his hind legs and has very specific needs, like needing to be pet while eating and needing fresh water bowls around the house so he won’t have to go too far to moisten up his tongue. Bruno was dropped off at the Wright-Way Rescue adoption center in Morton Grove,  IL, by some dumb humans who gave him up because he didn’t get along with their kids. Stupid attention whore kids were probably jealous of Bruno’s star power and got him kicked out of their house. But their major loss is another human’s major gain.

Bruno and Wright-Way Rescue put out the word for a human who is as extra as him and will appreciate his extra-ness. Bruno found the perfect extra human in Chicago-based actress/singer Lauren Paris. Lauren beat out MILLIONS (I’m guessing) by giving a video tour of her home and writing and performing an original song dedicated to Bruno and Wright-Way. She’s like a likable Anne Hathaway!

Wright-Way Rescue has been documenting Bruno’s search for America’s Luckiest Pussy Owner including posting this picture of him looking at prospective humans and thinking, “basic, basic, basic, basic,” before landing on Lauren’s audition tape and declaring, “Puuuuuuuurrrrrfectly extra, like moi!”

This is the gorgeous musical ode to Bruno that helped win Lauren the coveted role of Bruno’s human! It’s stage 10 HIGH SCHOOL THEATER KID, but it works since Bruno is stage 10 HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA TEACHER.

And here’s the moment where Wright-Way Rescue let Lauren know she got the part, and as she scream cries with happiness, Bruno is probably thinking, “Okay, okay, hurry up and get to the part where you tell her to pick me up in a black Town Car and to put a tasteful cashmere throw on the seats because I am not about to burn my delicate paws.

This is dynamic duo before going off together:

I cannot wait for the inevitable: Lauren Paris and Bruno Bartlett doing their own show where she sings stunning show tunes about him and he boringly listens while standing on his hind legs and filing his nails. The forecast in Chicago is: cold (isn’t it always?) with a 100% chance of Paris & Bartlett taking the town by storm!

Pic: Instagram

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