After what feels like a month of Sundays, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have finally reached a settlement in their multi-million dollar divorce. This is great news for them and even better news for us. This doesn’t mean that the divorce is OVER over, but this should be the next to last post we have to read about this divorce until the final nail is hammered into the coffin of BenJen II (as opposed to l’original BenJen: Ben and Jennifer Lopez . Pour a little out for the cinematic masterpiece that is “Gigli“, my friends. Never forget!).
Ben has re-entered rehab, and it’s been said that Jennifer didn’t want to finalize anything until it was clear that Ben was actually sober. It looks like Ben’s tattooed phoenix is starting to rise from the ashes of his butt crack and he is finally ready to face the reality that there is zero chance at reconciliation, because it’s being reported that the papers will be filed with the court once Ben leaves rehab. From TMZ:
Sources connected with the couple tell TMZ, Ben and Jen have reached a property settlement, which was complicated and time-consuming because of the fortune that needed to be divided. We’ve learned the couple did NOT have a prenup, so all of their earnings during their 12-year marriage went into one pot.
Hold up. These two (at one point) optimistic crazy in love kids neglected to get a pre-nup? How is that even possible in Hollywood, and why didn’t her bestie Victor Garber give Jennifer a head’s up on that? I expected more from him.
It’s also being reported that Ben and Jen will have joint custody of their three kids, with no specified schedule spelled out in the settlement.
For the sake of the kids and Ben, I hope this is the finally end of the whiskey road for him and he works things out in rehab. For our sake I hope we can finally move on to more stories of Ben’s skanky dating adventures and watch his regretful collection of mid-life crisis tattoos expand. That phoenix looks a bit lonely.