Kirstie Alley cleared the phlegm out of her throat long enough to regale her Celebrity Big Brother UK housemates with tales of her deep and abiding love for fellow #thot4thetan John Travolta. This is not the first time Kirstie has proclaimed that John was the love of her life, she was singing the same song back in 2012. Alas, it seems they were always destined to just be two Galactic Confederacy spaceships passing in the night.
Somebody in the BB house asked her if she’d ever had an affair with a celebrity and Kirstie answered that she had kissed both her North & South co-star Patrick Swayze, who was married at the time, and her Look Who’s Talking co-star John. Kirstie was married to Parker Stevenson throughout. I guess the girl just can’t help it!
Here’s Kristie talking about her sordid affairs of the lip.
In case you just can’t, Kirstie said (via People):
“I think I kissed Travolta,” Alley said. “I almost ran off and married John. I did love him, I still love him. If I hadn’t been married I would’ve gone and married him and I would’ve been in an airplane because he has his own plane.”
Well, you fucked that one up, Kirstie. Now you have to fly coach for the rest of your life. I’ve got a little scoop for you guys. Neither the Patrick Swayze story or the Travolta story are new. Kirstie’s already written about both dalliances in her 2012 memoir titled The Art Of Men (I Prefer Mine Al Dente), and I know this because a couple of months ago I was walking down the street and something laying splayed out on the sidewalk caught my eye (I had to prop it up for the pic).
I tried to read it but could barely get past the chapter titled “The Art Of ‘Retarded’ Men” in which she describes being tricked into getting dry-humped by Woody Harrelson pretending to be a “retarded” 20-year old burn victim and with broken arms and legs. I wish I was kidding but I’m not. The following chapter is all about her “kiss” with Patrick, which she characterizes in the book as a full blown affair, and writes that they were both ready to leave their spouses to be together. But when she told her beloved “daddy” their plans, and he shut that shit down. So, she a lie. Patrick Swayze really dodged a bullet with that one.
And in case you’re wondering how Kristie’s going over with UK audiences, there’s this.
Think it’s Kirsty Alley from “Look Who’s Talking” movies
— Camilla SL Latham (@CamillaLatham30) August 24, 2018
John’s probably really glad the power of Xenu compelled him to keep his beard auditions open a bit longer.