When Michael Avenatti showed up to last night’s MTV VMAs, most people wondered why his ass was there. I mean, beyond just to be the DADDIEST of pieces of daddy eye candy. While Michael spends his days dragging Donald Trump through the mud on behalf of his client, Stormy Daniels, he also basically said the VMAs are a great way to connect with young-ass voters who don’t get their jollies off to the primetime lineup of MSNBC. Yes, he’s actually taking this presidential run seriously. Sadly, kicking off his campaign didn’t include a cameo in “Chun-Li” with Nicki Minaj.
Michael was surprisingly friendly considering he normally talks in a manner that makes you think he debriefs from an interview by punching through a cement block. A Variety reporter asked why he was there, and he let it be known Trump should be quaking under his comb-over for the debates in the 2020 presidential race:
— Variety (@Variety) August 21, 2018
Michael makes it sound like everyone is thirsty to have his ass run:
“I’m seriously looking at it.I’m traveling around talking to people in the country, and I’ve been really surprised at how much enthusiasm there is for the potential.I’m going to make a decision, be smart about it, deliberative.”
Everyone would have to wear their glaucoma glasses each time Michael gave a State of the Union address because our retinas would singe upon him bellowing out that Stormy is going to be his nominee for Secretary of the Interior and that, if we all pay our taxes on time, he’ll take a shirtless pic a la Vladimir Putin to hang in the National Portrait Gallery. I know that’s objectifying a potential politician, but it’s a cause of national importance since we’ve been trailing Canada in the fuckable head-of-state contest since, well, when was Trump’s inauguration?!?