There’s a new box design for Barnum’s Animals Crackers and it comes at the behest of PETA. Historically, the Nabisco treat you can’t get down without flushing with a gallon of milk, came in a circus themed box with the animals all in their own separate cages. Sure the wild beasts looked happy enough in their little jail cells, but PETA took issue with the depiction of the animals whose cardboard-like doppelgangers were about to have their heads and feet nibbled on by infants and the children of cruel parents who won’t buy them real cookies, like Hydrox, instead.
Here’s the old box we all remember.
Awe, look at all the baby animals! That’s how you know they were happy. According to CBS News, Mondelez International (parent company of Nabisco and purveyor of charlatan Hydrox knock-offs Oreos) has been pressured by PETA to free the illustrated animals since 2016. And PETA has been protesting circuses for over 30 years. PETA told Mondelez:
“Given the egregious cruelty inherent in circuses that use animals and the public’s swelling opposition to the exploitation of animals used for entertainment, we urge Nabisco to update its packaging in order to show animals who are free to roam in their natural habitats.”
And since most people now agree that animal circuses are smelly, gross and cruel, the cookie’s namesake Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey circus went out of business in 2016, also as a result from PETA pressure (for some reason, Pamela Anderson was really triggered by elephant trunks). With circus animals being about as popular as proselytizing vegans, Mondelez decided to go ahead and let PETA have the “W“. Here’s the new box.
Yep, that’s right. The animals are all on the loose. Hungry lions parading next to giraffes, gorillas within a arm’s swipe of an elephant’s jugular, the zebra back there plotting some serious fucked up revenge plot on a tiger. It’s bedlam. A wild animal battle royale that’s sure to end in bloodshed and pulverized monkey crumbs. Great job PETA! You’ve really outdone yourself this time.