Here’s Madonna’s MTV VMAs Tribute To Madonna (Featuring An Aretha Franklin Album She Listened To Once, Or Something)
Anybody who took one look at Madonna’s “rich white lady who listened to Baduizm once” ensemble and said, “nope,” before changing the channel, made the right decision.
Queen Aretha Franklin died not that long ago and she wasn’t really known as a music video artiste, so I wasn’t expecting the MTV to do a tribute extravaganza to her at the VMAs tonight. But if they took an “Aretha Franklin look” wig from Wish, threw it on a stool, and played a warped copy of Respect on a Boombox, it would’ve been a more well thought out tribute than the one that was dry farted out onto the stage. It’s as if the producers of the VMAs said to Madge, “Will you honor the Queen?“, and she figured they were talking about her.
While looking like Rachel Dolezal after shopping at Pier 1 Imports one afternoon, Madge strolled onto the stage with a giant picture of Aretha Franklin behind her. She started off with, “Aretha Louise Franklin changed the course of my life,” and from there it nosedived into a puddle of me me me me me me. Madge went on about how before she was Madonna, she was a broke wannabe professional dancer living in a crack house in NYC, getting mistaken for a hooker and going to auditions. The Aretha part of the story is that Madge loved one of her albums and warbled out an acoustic version of (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman during an audition for some “French disco sensation.” Long story long, Madge said that if it wasn’t for Aretha Franklin, she wouldn’t be a superstar. Thank GOD Aretha Franklin existed, because if she didn’t, we wouldn’t have Madonna! I think Madge may have broken the Guinness World Record for saying “I” the most times in a tribute to somebody else. If this was Madge trying to get us to scream, “Just stop and sing an Aretha Franklin song instead,” at the screen, it worked, because that’s exactly what I screamed. Here’s some clips of that mess:
First Prince and now Aretha!
Aretha died on Madge’s 60th birthday, easily snatching all of the attention away from her. So this might be Madge’s idea of sweet revenge, or she’s just being Madge. As for what Aretha might say about this shit, she’d probably say, “Fuck, I can’t even say ‘beautiful gown’.”