The Siberian Times (via People) reports that a “sea monster” washed up on the shores of the Bering Sea in Russia and the locals are freaked out by it. That’s a sea monster? It looks like someone threw out some shag carpeting in the ocean that washed up or perhaps that’s all the chest hair that Putin’s shaved off over the years. Even he knows that, sometimes, even a ruthless and frequently topless dictator can look a little too manly.
This YouTube video, entitled “Kamchatka sea monster”, was originally posted by Svetlana Dyadenko and shows her examining a mass that washed up on the Pacific side of the Kamchatka peninsula. It’s supposedly “three times” the size of a human and stinks to high heaven. This shaggy behemoth is giving the personal hygiene of sea monsters a bad name.
In a video shared on YouTube and titled “Kamchatka sea monster,” witnesses on the sand examine what appears to be an animal with gray and white coloring, lots of fur and a possible tail (or tentacle)—but no defined head or other body parts.
If you thought that this mass of whatever might look sort of like some sort of defurred polar bear, you’re not far off. They share characteristics.
The Siberian Times reports that Dyadenko wrote “the most interesting thing to me is that the creature is covered with tubular fur.” Tubular hair, which is hollow and similar to a fiber optic cable, according to Gizmodo, is the type found on a polar bear.
Dyadenko issued a plea to scientists not to just throw Albino Snuffalupagus back into the drink, but to first “inspect this enigma that the ocean threw at us.”
Theories abounded in the comments sections as to what it could be, with people wondering if it was the remains of a wooly mammoth that might have been freed from a glacier due to thawing. Others wondered if it was a giant squid or octopus that would have gone through some mighty big changes if that’s the result.
And what about the missing head? Did another, even bigger sea monster decapitate this one? Or worse, does this monster not have a head and it’s just a big shaggy mass? EW. AND WHY WOULD YOU APPROACH IT THIS CLOSELY? Your camera has a zoom function, doesn’t it? Why are you touching things? You know how when jellyfish wash up ashore and they tell you to keep avoiding them because they can still sting you? What if this one is just playing possum and waiting to shoot barbs at people’s faces if they get too close or try to LIFT UP A TAIL. Svetlana Dyadenko, stop acting the fool and get out of there!