Maxdonna Is July’s Hot Slut Of The Month! 

It would’ve been more fitting for Maxdonna to be given the HSOTM tiara, sash and scepter (which yes, looks like this) for August since August is the real Madonna’s birth month, but he’s getting crowned in August, so close enough.

Maxdonna, the rescue pooch from France who set the pussies of the internet on fire by doing Madonna (not like in the Sex book kind of way) on Instagram, is now our reigning Hot Slut of the Month. Maxdonna got 39% of your votes, beating dick-sucking legend Fredy Alanis  (who got 36% of the votes), The Jeff Goldblum Statue (15%), and The Blank Memorex Tape (10%).

Queen Maxdonna is the fifth animal in a row to win HSOTM this year. Dog The Fish-Selling Pussy, Karamel The Two-Wheeled Squirrel, The Badass Flying Pussy, and Officer Poncho are the other ones. The animal kingdom is clinging to the HSOTM title like me clinging to any man who – I was going to add more, but that sentence is factual as is.

Maxdonna celebrated Madonna’s birthday yesterday by announcing on his Instagram that he and his human have raised $12,000 from the sale of his stunning portraits. The money is going to Madge’s charity Raising Malawi. Madonna herself “thanked” Maxdonna for the donation and for showing her up repeatedly by sending him a basket of Snausages that totally weren’t laced with rat poison. No, Madonna approves… until she finds Maxdonna’s act “reductive.”

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: Instagram