With A Star Is Born coming out in a few months, Lady Gaga must think we forgot she’s not actually a normal brunette lady who wears jeans, eats turkey sandwiches, and only has like one nice going out purse. Her extreme reverse makeover for that film is the current version of Lady Gaga we are all walking around with in our heads and that is not O.K. To remind us all who the fuck she is, Ms. Gaga decided to pull a stunt and post some unsettling pictures on Instagram. A little something to wake the little monsters up in advance of her Las Vegas residency that’s scheduled to start in December. What’s perhaps more disturbing than the photos themselves, are the descriptions written by Billboard magazine in case you are too scared to actually look.
For example, listen to this terrifying tale for the blind:
The first photo is a dramatic retouching of Lady Gaga’s body, drastically slimming the waist and accentuating her curvatures. In it, her mouth is lengthened and agape. The second features Gaga laying on the floor with an elongated nose. The third is a low-angle shot of Gaga in a lace bodice, metallic long gloves, and, most noticeably, an animal mask attached to her lower waist.
Well shit, slap me on the ass and call it Halloween! My mouth is lengthened and agape just from reading that. But fear not, the actual photos are somewhat less disturbing. Especially if you’ve already seen the Slenderman documentary. Here’s spooky Gaga who would never fly coach or consider taking 8 cheese samples from the grocery store and hiding the toothpicks in the bread aisle because she forgot to eat breakfast (don’t you dare judge me).
The photographer is Eli Russell Linnetz who’s worked extensively with Kanye West, so I’m sure he’s been asked to do much weirder. I dunno. TBH, I think Howie Mandel did the whole little monsters shtick much better.