Thirsty Cat! and Thirsty Dog!
In 2018, when you think of a thirsty cat or thirsty dog, you think of an Instagram doggy THOT showing its ass for likes, or an Instagram pussy THOT flashing its puss for views. But in the 90s, Thirsty Cat! and Thirsty Dog! were the names of a genius and revolutionary product that was way too innovative for the simple minds of the 90s. Thirsty Cat! and Thirsty Dog! were fucking water for animals! The word “inventor” should be removed from Thomas Edison’s Wikipedia page, because how can he be called an inventor when he never invented bottled water for cats and dogs.
There were actually several bottled water for pet brands in the 90s. Thirsty Dog! and Thirsty Cat! came out around 1994 and humans could buy beef-flavored vitamin water for their dog and/or fish-flavored vitamin water for their cat for just $1.79! $1.79 is a damn steal because do you know how hard it is to flick some tuna juice into your cat’s bowl of water or squeeze a piece of your steak into your toilet bowl (where your dog usually drinks from)? via Adage
Original Pet Drink Co. has signed up four beverage bottlers to make and distribute its Thirsty Dog! and Thirsty Cat! products.
Fort Lauderdale, Fla.-based Original Pet Drink said it’s rapidly introducing its vitamin- and mineral-enriched waters-intended to replace tap water in a pet’s bowl-into 36 states. A 1-liter bottle of either the Crispy Beef flavor Thirsty Dog! or the Tangy Fish flavor Thirsty Cat! carries a suggested price of $1.79.
Strangely enough, $1.79 bottled water for animals didn’t become a major hit. It was pulled off shelves within the year, but it’s memory forever lives on at my personal Louvre: The Museum of Failure.
The makers of this useless mess may not have had a clue that their product was going to end up in a doggy poo bag, but the faces of their spokesmodels did. That cat is definitely thinking, “Yes, I’m judging you for buying this stupid water which I got paid to model for.” And that dog looks as stoned as the people who came up with water for the bougie pet set.
Pic: Original Pet Drink Co.