Kanye Wants To Bang All Of His Wife’s Sisters, Was Offered A Porn Directorship

August 11, 2018 / Posted by:

Bizarro World’s most esteemed philosophical genius, Kanye West, was offered a porn directing gig with full artistic control. That potential production (at least there would be less taupe leotards) would be especially kinky seeing as Kanye recently admitted via new song that he wants to tap all of wife Kim Kardashian’s sisters. That’s a lot of filler and toxic chemicals into which to stick your dick. Plastic Globule Fucking with Kanye, Vol. 1?

Kanye got into his porn preferences during his recent mindbending appearance (actually it was more like watching Yeezy trying and failing to bend his own mind into explaining why he supports Trump) on Kimmel. Ye likes his fap inspiration to mirror his real life. Is this something that was necessary for us to know (via Page Six)? Thanks, Kimmel.

In answering a question about his daughters North, 5, and Chicago, 6 mos, Kanye brought up PornHub. Um…

Host Jimmy Kimmel asked West, 41, if he has a different perspective on women now that he has two daughters (North, 5, and 6-month-old Chicago).

“Nah, I still look at PornHub,” the rapper quipped.

Jesus, Yeezus!

When Kimmel asked if he has a favorite porn genre, West was forthcoming.

“Black is my favorite category,” he said, adding, “[I watch] a lot of black on white, obviously. [It mirrors] my own reality.”

Well, TMZ reports that the saucy minxes over at everyone’s favorite stolen porn emporium PornHub loved the free advertising. So they offered Yeezy a lifetime membership. Those PornHub people are straight up starfuckers because I… know a guy… who uses their service all the damn time and no one’s ever offered…that guy…a free lifetime membership! Discrimination against the lessers!

In addition to the PornHub offer, Porn’s “Stephen Spielberg” (and owner of Yeezy’s favorite spank bank Blacked.com) Greg Lansky added to Vivid Video’s standing $25 million dollar offer for a Kanye/Kim sex tape by offering Kanye a job. (Anyone who’s seen Kim’s first sex tape knows that her performance wasn’t worth the urine that allegedly spattered her forehead in the unreleased version so Kanye better have a massive dick that can electrify audiences for $25 million!)

Didn’t take long for Greg to craft an offer and fire it off to Ye … first thanking him for mentioning Blacked. As for the offer — let Kanye direct a porn movie. According to the letter — obtained by TMZ — Kanye will have full artistic control.

Lansky supposedly already has two actresses in mind for this epic. Their initials might be “K.K.” because Kanye just dropped a new track in which he mentions wanting to do his sister-in-laws some sexual favors. It’s called “XTCY” and hey, at least it’s not about shit (via W).

Then, West really gets into it: “You got sick thoughts? I got more of ’em,” he raps, before going on to prove his case. “You got a sister-in-law you would smash? I got four of ’em.”

Methinks that Kim’s sisters wouldn’t necessarily say no to this offer. Think about it. There’s four of them. That means four separate E! series or one-off specials with the customary spin-offs netting them even more money. Cut to an angry-at-being-left-out Rob Kardashian spitting texts at Kanye that read, “BOUT ME? BRO ERRYBODY KNOWS YOU TOTALLY BI” and “REMEMBER BRAH BIGGER CUSHION BETTER PUSHIN.”

Pic: Instagram

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