Who Is July’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

August 10, 2018 / Posted by:

Times flies when the world is burning like a flaming hemorrhoid, I guess, because we’re more than halfway through with the year, and you’re all about to make the seventh most important decision you’ve had to make in 2018 (the first being voting for Hot Slut of January, the second being voting for Hot Slut of February, etc… etc..)! As always, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes from the people, and the fourth was picked by me, because in addition to being just a freak, I’m a control freak too. Here’s your choices for July:

The blank Memorex tape from the 80s and 90s, the Rolls Royce of blank tapes that you only saved for special mix tapes for your crush. If you’ve got a box of Memorex mix tapes in a shoebox in your garage, then I’m throwing a jealous face at you since you were obviously a highly in-demand slut in school.

Fredy Alanis, the 19-year-old who ended up in the hospital with a busted up breathing tunnel after taking on a giant 10-inch dick. Fredy will probably never get to try to deepthroat a super burrito dick again (because dudes don’t want to get sued) but at least he has a beautiful story to tell his grandchildren.

The Jeff Goldblum Statue, the metal Jeff Goldblum that was erected in London for the 25th anniversary of Jurassic Park, and has probably been removed by the public health department after it was covered with several layers of cooch cream.

Maxdonna, the rescue dog from France who showed Lady Gaga how to really do a good Madonna impersonation.

Voting is below. Dlisted’s Miss July will be crowned next Friday!


Pics: Pinterest, @ELECTRIC_PAPI,Wenn.com, Instagram

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