Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Dream Skater!

I thought that if it was sparkly, pink, had a head full of highly-flammable polyester hair, and came from the 80s, I would know of its existence and hold a special place for it in the dilapidated memory chip in my brain. So I was a little disturbed and disappointed in myself when Dlisted reader Angela e-mailed me a sparkly, pink doll from the 1980s as a HSOTD suggestion and I didn’t know what it was. I would’ve been filled with the familiar feeling of lukewarm shame, but my gay eyes got distracted by the sparkliness and glamour of Dream Skater.

Angela tells me that she learned that the world is a disappointing place early on thanks to Dream Skater. Dream Skater was the spirit animal of Johnny Weir and her figure skating skills were supposed to be as spectacular as her ability to serve massive amounts of ice princess glamour. Dream Skater was supposed to gracefully glide along that mirror. But apparently, Angela’s Dream Skater skated more like Nancy Kerrigan after getting a visit from one of Jeff Gillooly’s goons. Bitch’s skating was busted. But who cares if she skated like a baby giraffe with bad ankles. She was a vision of knock-off Barbie elegance.

The thing is, I can’t really find any info on Dream Skater besides that she was made by TOMY and came out between 1980 and 1984. But I did find a few Dream Skaters for sale on Amazon and eBay. I’m not saying that Angela is a liar, but I am wondering if Dream Skater really existed in the 1980s. Maybe she’s a new doll that is made to look like an old doll from the 80s so that us nostalgia addicts will convince ourselves we wanted her as kids and spend $100 on one on eBay. You’re not going to trick me, Dream Skater! I’m totally not going to run off to eBay to buy a used one of you after publishing this shit. I’m so not going to (I’m totally going to)!

Pics: Listia, Amazon, DNAToys

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