The CDC Had To Remind People Not To Reuse Condoms

August 3, 2018 / Posted by:

Hennies, come sit around and learn a lesson on the dos and don’ts of sustainability. Reuse your canvas bags to get groceries, reuse (but CLEAN) those metal straws, but PLEASE remember this phrase: once you hump, throw it in the dump! The condom, that is. I guess in the era of diva cups (look it up), this was only a natural progression, but some environmentalists (or just plain cheapos) have been reusing condoms for a few uses, and the Centers for Disease Control had to come out and tell them to cut the shit.

CNN says even though the CDC may be under strict orders by Donald Trump to throw out science, but it’s good to know the old gal still has enough gas in her to let us know we can still contract diseases or, egad, a baby if you reuse those rubbers:

The CDC barfed that up in late July, and Elizabeth Torrone, a doctor in the organization’s Division of STD Prevention, gave even more warning:

“Condoms prevent the spread of most STDs and likely reduce the risk of all STDs, but a condom is only effective when used correctly. Incorrect use, such as reusing a condom or using more than one at a time, diminishes the protective effect of condoms by leading to condom breakage, slippage, or leakage.”

But what if you’re a starfish who just lies there, and the condom barely sees any friction?? I mean, asking for a friend, obviously! Anyway, that was nice of Lizzie because soon enough Mike Pence is going to make them take all this chatter down and instruct people that the only way you can have a baby is through the stork.

Pic: Getty

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