Tom Cruise Learned That Internet Porn Existed From Seth Rogen

August 1, 2018 / Posted by:

Stars, they’re just like us! When they feel crotch tingles, they let their fingers to the walking on the world wide web for a little sweet release. And with the help of modern technology, everybody’s kink can be honed and sculpted to their exact tastes. Some stars you can just look at and know what type of porn their into. George Clooney’s probably into vintage 1930’s era tuxedo porn; Goldie Hawn probably likes German naked wood-nymph stuff. But when it comes to thinking about what gets Tom Cruise’s “meat body” (THE ACTUAL L.RON APPROVED TERM) all hot and bothered, the mind draws a blank in a merciful act of self-protection. According to Indiewire though, Tommy boy didn’t even know internet porn existed until Seth Rogen hipped him to it in 2006.

Here’s a joke for you: Judd Apatow, Seth Rogen and Tom cruise walk into a bar. That’s it, that’s the whole joke. Anytime Tom walks into a bar, that’s your punchline right there. Ok, seriously what happened was Tom, Seth and Judd were meeting to discuss Tom’s possible participation in a rom-com (Seth probably had a Bailey’s milkshake, Judd – a glass of the house red, and Tom ordered Thetonized water, no ice). They chatted a bit before Seth blew Tom’s mind by telling him that there is pornography on the internet. This story is courtesy of Judd, who told it on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert (via Indiewire):

“So we’re talking to him and I don’t know how it came up, but it usually comes up with Seth where he starts talking about marijuana and pornography,” Apatow told Colbert. “And he starts talking about adult films on the internet and Tom Cruise goes, ‘What? Wait, you’re saying that there are adult films on the internet?’ And Seth is like, ‘Yeah, there’s all these movies on these websites.’ And Tom Cruise is like, ‘Wait a second, you’re saying if I go on the computer, on the worldwide web, there are people having sex on this [information super] highway?’”

I love it when Tommy plays coy. How can you rail against something if you don’t know it exists? According to Scientology.org, porn is a no-no. It’s considered to be one of the cornerstones of “the decline of Moral Standards”. Sure, maybe in 2006 people didn’t automatically equate porn with the internet. People with dial-up were still ducking behind the Big Blue Curtain at Blockbuster to get their stash. But Tom’s exaggerated incredulity makes me think he knew damn well what was slowing down the internet connection at Flag Land Base. So was he kidding? Judd wasn’t sure if he was being serious either.

“He was being very polite. I assume he was against it and being polite, but who knows? We’ll never know.”

Well, I have a feeling that when somebody finally leaks Tom’s auditing tapes, we’ll all know more than we ever wanted to.

Pic: Wenn.com

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