The poor folks who live in their mansions along Lake Como likely just want to rest easy on the weekends, smoke some ciggs, fuck their lovers or spouses (or both!) and down carafes of red wine – y’know, the typical Italian pastimes. Alas, ever since George Clooney showed up years ago, it’s been nothing but Casamigos-branded shit and starfuckers galore – and that’s just when the Crawford-Gerbers show up! Well, now we can add Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan to the list of celebrities (fine…royalty…) who are invading the shores for the weekend.
The Hollywood Reporter says that producers of James Bond 25 announced today on Twitter that Danny Boyle is longer going to direct James Bond 25, which is supposed to be Daniel Craig’s last Bond movie. Danny is leaving due to “creative differences.”
Michael G. Wilson, Barbara Broccoli and Daniel Craig today announced that due to creative differences Danny Boyle has decided to no longer direct Bond 25. pic.twitter.com/0Thl116eAd
— James Bond (@007) August 21, 2018
It’s either fitting, or ironic, that the 007 logo sort of looks like a hand pointing, as if to say, “There’s the door, asshole.”
Danny is a big fan of the Bond films, and even featured Daniel Craig’s Bond in the opening ceremony for the 2012 London Olympics (which he directed). Danny’s frequent collaborative screenwriter John Hodge was reportedly working on a script for the next Bond movie based on an idea by Danny. Not to mention that Danny was reportedly MGM’s first choice to direct the film. Sam Mendes had directed the previous two Bond films, Skyfall and Spectre. Production on James Bond 25 is set to begin in December, so there’s still some time to find a replacement.
As for what exactly those creative differences are, it’s not known. Variety says that Danny was in the early stages of casting the new Bond girl and villain when the decision was made that he’d leave the production. Maybe they had creative differences over the Bond girl. Danny was reportedly working on updating the franchise to reflect the #MeToo era, and I can maybe see a disagreement happening there. Like between Danny and an older 007 traditionalist who tries to argue that #MeToo in James Bond’s world means a second Bond girl enters the bedroom and asks “Me too?” before dropping her clothes.
If y’all were hoping to see an Aretha Franklin tribute last night at the VMAs, erm, Madonna gave a long-ass speech in front of a photo of Aretha about her own career and how she once sang “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman.” People got ripshit because Madge was Madge and made it all about her and not really at all about Aretha, but now Madonna has clapped back. Madge said that she wasn’t doing an Aretha tribute – if you want a real tribute, she needs at least a half-hour of cultural appropriation and self-promotion to really do the memorial justice!
While working long-haired guinea pig hair, Jennifer Garner got her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. At the ceremony, Jennifer said, “Everything that I love and that truly matters to me is sitting in this box over here.” In the box was her family, friends, Bryan Cranston, Steve Carell, Judy Greer, a picture of Ben Affleck’s back tattoo (since his mid-life crisis gives her life), a coffee cup from the Brentwood Country Mart, and some of her favorite paps to call. No, the last three weren’t in the box, and neither was her heartmate Victor Garber! If Jen and Victor Garber broke up as friends, then friendship doesn’t exist and every heart-shaped BFF pendant needs to be destroyed – Lainey Gossip
Aaron Eckhart’s butt chin should really be higher up on this list of butt chins, because that’s a butt chin you can go balls deep in – Pajiba
Duchess Meghan’s attention whore leech of a half-sister claims that Bravo offered her a reality show, and if that’s true, then I need to slow clap for Bravo for finding a way to be even trashier. TLC must feel so inadequate – Reality Tea
The lesbian-hating troll who Kelly Clarkson responded to spelled it “dikes,” so maybe they don’t hate lesbians, they just hate flood walls – Towleroad
Elon Musk and his girlfriend Grimes have been one of the most entertaining celebrity couples of this year (or throuples, if you include Azealia Banks‘ proximity, which I do). Sadly, the electricity-powered car wreck might finally have come to a complete stop, as it would appear Elon and Grimes might have broken up.
There’s a new box design for Barnum’s Animals Crackers and it comes at the behest of PETA. Historically, the Nabisco treat you can’t get down without flushing with a gallon of milk, came in a circus themed box with the animals all in their own separate cages. Sure the wild beasts looked happy enough in their little jail cells, but PETA took issue with the depiction of the animals whose cardboard-like doppelgangers were about to have their heads and feet nibbled on by infants and the children of cruel parents who won’t buy them real cookies, like Hydrox, instead.