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July 30, 2018 / Posted by:

E.T. Cereal!

As us children of the 80s know, anything that was a hit became a cereal. If the Kartrashians were a thing in the 80s, they definitely would’ve gotten their own cereal, and that cereal definitely would’ve tasted like silicone, piss, Ray-J’s dick, the crust on an old bronzer stick, laxative tea-infused shit, and the blood of Lucifer. Since E.T. was the biggest movie of 1982, it got its own cereal.

Because E.T.’s tip got moist for Reese’s Pieces, his cereal was peanut butter and chocolate flavored. It came in “E” and “T” shapes. Someone was slacking, because Mr. Breakfast says that E.T.’s cereal didn’t come out until 1984, two years after the movie.

The commercial was like a stoner’s dream. When I’m lying around with the good shit-produced munchies, I pray for a giant cereal box spaceship to land near me and for a glowing uncut dick finger to gift me with some peanut butter and chocolate deliciousness. This is a stoner fantasy:

That bowl of E.T. cereal doesn’t really look like “E” and “T” shapes. It looks more like a bowl of dehydrated roach eggs or maggots after a day of tanning. With that being said, I’d still eat an entire box in one sitting, and afterward, I’d say, “E.T., phone the CVS pharmacy, because I’m gonna need some insulin.”

Pic: YouTube

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