The Pimp Mama of all Pimp Mamas, Kris Jenner, is tired of selling her hot daughters to the masses and decided to use some of her media manipulation techniques on her actual favorite person in the world: herself.
People is reporting that Kris was seen on Wednesday in Beverly Hills wearing a big-ass diamond on her that finger. Kris has had professional purse holder/pucker-inducer Corey Gamble under contract since 2014 after her divorce from Caitlyn Jenner. So it’s been a while, which means if Kris wants to keep it fresh for the paparazzi she needs to add some intrigue. Enter: the diamond.
Kris Jenner Rocks a Massive Diamond Ring on That Finger: Could She Be Engaged to Corey Gamble? https://t.co/DIOj4rKMKk
— People (@people) July 25, 2018
Kris is 62-years-old in human years (the demonic energies coursing through her body are well over 3000) and Corey is a tender 37. The two were vacationing in the South of France earlier in the month, because what else do Kardashian-Jenners do other than vacation? Kris and Corey were seen getting off a yacht on the French Riviera while holding hands. How romantic.
I think we should hold off on the Kongratulations until the rest of Kris’ klan start promoting the marriage on Twitter. Lets be real, if Kris is getting engaged it’s going to have three-weeks of promo commercials on E!, a majority storyline on half a season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and at least two magazine spreads in InTouch and UsWeekly detailing how happy and youthful Kris looks. This is just the beginning stages so buckle the fuck up. Imagine the wedding? Or the dress? I wonder where they’ll honeymoon? Hopefully somewhere with sound-proof walls.