It’s a Friday, so your ass better be parked on the couch clearing through your DVR and occasionally moving your laptop mouse to give the impression to your boss you’re actually working from home. It’s a good think you’re seated (and if you aren’t, please do so now) because Britney Spears went on Jimmy Fallon’s show last night to do that “Ew!” sketch that should have left us the same time the Obamas left the White House. Jimmy must have blackmail on everyone who is remotely been famous because he’s even swindled Michelle Obama into that shit, and Brit Brit was no different. At least she juiced up some of her appearance with her live vocals. Wait, what??
Britney played Abby, the camp BFF of Jimmy’s Sara, and I’m sure the Emmy committee lost its panties over Brit Brit’s natural abilities reading for cue cards and giving delayed responses to Jimmy. Sorry, Meryl Streep! Better luck at next year’s awards! Anyway, Jimmy teed up a little bit of the Our Lady Of Cheese Grits songbook by saying “I’m not a girl” at the 2:08 mark, and Britney crooning, “noooot yet a woman.” I’d be lying if I didn’t tear up a little bit thinking of my childhood era of sexual confusion, mild obesity, and denim-clad Britney. I just hope there’s a follow-up with the camp theme where Jimmy’s Sara complains, “Abby, why did you put my bra in the freezer again?!” And Sara can respond, “Oops I did it again!” But we’ll have to stop there because anything more than five words, and we’ll exhaust those vocal chords!