Somebody Took A Pick Axe To Donald Trump’s Star On The Hollywood Walk Of Fame

July 25, 2018 / Posted by:

Somebody has had it, and that somebody is all of us. Well, most of us. Every couple of weeks or so, Donald Trump says or does something egregiously awful or we learn about something he already did or said that was egregiously awful, or he’s caught in an egregiously awful lie, and we all hold our breath for a moment, hoping upon hope, that this is what finally does him in and then… nothing. Red, White and Blue balls for everyone! So when CNN got hold of one of the Michael Cohen pre-election, secret recordings of The Donald discussing a cash pay-off to kill a story about an alleged affair he had with Playboy Playmate Karen McDougal, people braced for impact.

Unfortunately, instead of hearing the exuberant strains of 20 Mariachi bands, the USC marching band and The Vienna Boys Choir all exalting together, we got one, dented sad trombone fart. Nothing (has) happened (yet). Well one of us had had enough with the bullshit and took it upon himself to brave the 3:00 AM Hollywood Blvd creep parade and take a pick axe to Donald Trump’s star on the Walk of Fame.

Man, they tuned it up real good! This is really hitting him where it hurts too. According to The Hollywood reporter:

NBCLA reporter Jonathan Gonzalez tweeted, “Multiple people — including police — tell me a man walked up with a guitar case and pulled out the pickaxe. Then, it’s believed, he called police himself to report it, but left the scene before they got here. Now, he’s nowhere to be found.”

The Los Angeles Times reports that the man ended the call by saying “see you later” and about an hour later, walked into the Beverly Hills police station with a ghetto blaster on his shoulder playing “Rockit”, and insisted he would only turn himself in if he could be booked by Detective Axel Foley. Most of that is true! He is currently being interviewed by Judge Reinhold and is facing felony vandalism charges. And no banana in the tailpipe gag is gonna save him this time.

This isn’t the first time Trump’s star has been assailed with a sharp object. According to THR, 53-year-old James Lambert Otis took a jackhammer to it in 2016. It’s also been graffitied (with a swastika and a “mute” symbol, probably also a dick’n balls), spit on, kicked, stomped on, and people have encouraged their dogs to shit and piss all over it. Here’s what it looked like yesterday.

In an attempt to be unbiased, there’s also this hot take.

Ok, dude. He tried it though, didn’t he. As to that tape, who knows if anything will come of it. We’ve been told so many lies and seen so few consequences, that this one act of vandalism feels like the only retribution we are likely to see in the near future. But then again, I still have faith in my man Avenatti The Hottie to get the job done. Here’s what he had to say about the tape and Michael Cohen’s possible return from the dark-side.

Mr. Cohen, I’d do what he says. You wouldn’t want to see Avenatti when he’s angry. Be best, Cohen! But you can let Avenatti know that I’ve been a bad girl and could use a spanking.

Pic: Twitter

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