Hot Slut Of The Day!
Like Cola!
Back in the early 1980s, executives at The Seven Up Company decided that what was needed on the market was a sodie pop lacking one of the main reasons why people guzzle down that bubbly corn syrup nectar. I’m talking about caffeine. Yes, yes, I know that there’s weird people out there who get into caffeine-free soda, but to me, drinking caffeine-free soda is like snorting cocaine-free cocaine because you love the sensation of white powder in your damn nose. Weirdos.
Like Cola was one of the first caffeine-free sodas, but it wasn’t totally free of the substance that electrocutes your brain awake. Law stated that a cola couldn’t totally be free of caffeine, so Like Cola had 1% caffeine. Wikipedia says that before Diet 7-Up, The Seven Up Company used the Like name in the 1960s for their diet lemon-lime soda. They brought out the Like name for this fun-free mess. It never really became a thing and didn’t make it out of the 80s alive. That might be a good thing, because if it got big, imagine how a server’s ears would die and their brain would combust while hearing a Kartrashian type say, “Can I like get like a Like like Cola like?”
Even though Like Cola didn’t exactly take over the cola game, it did get commercials:
Like Cola may be gone but it’s not forgotten (it’s totally forgotten). But we’ll always remember it as one of the first almost-caffeine-free colas that parents gave to their kids to trick those brats into thinking they were drinking carbonated sugared-up meth water but weren’t. And I bet those kids still took a sip of Like Cola and went, “Oh shit, I’m buzzin’ it.” Kids are such melodramatic liars.
Pic: Wikipedia