Open Post: Hosted By The Dude Everyone Thought Was A Diabolical Villain Who Heartlessly Stole A Baseball From A Little Kid
Pennywise the Clown, Freddy Krueger, Miss Hannigan, Pimp Mama Kris, and every other villainous asshole whose black heart blackens more from destroying the spirit of a child probably saluted this bald Cubs fan who “snatched” away a baseball from a little boy at a Cubs vs. Cardinals game yesterday afternoon. The internet raged against what they thought was the brother of that legendary child-hating baseball villainess when the first-base coach threw a baseball to a little boy who failed to catch it and lost it to the bald fan.
The guy cheered on the inside before handing it over to his wife, and as that happened, the little boy learned that humans are evil, heartless creatures who only care about themselves. This boy is totally going to grow up to be a comic book villain. This is his origin story…
When going to a baseball game, DON'T be this guy. pic.twitter.com/pAeiRN6Q2X
— Cut4 (@Cut4) July 22, 2018
Somebody needs to tell that boy that the next time that happens, he needs to calmly tell the ball stealer that there’s cameras on them and he’s going to fake cry so hard that the ball stealer will be shamed, fired from their job, spat at by strangers on the street and disowned by their family if they don’t hand the ball over to him, along with $200 cash for his troubles.
The Cubs felt bad for the kid so they gave him a baseball autographed by one of their players. BUT WAIT!
Deadspin says that witnesses claim that the bald dude isn’t a child-hating devil demon but a baseball saint to children. The guy had apparently already given the kid a baseball, and gave baseballs to other kids. The baseball he caught in the clip above was also given to a kid. Chicago sports reporter David Kaplan co-signed all of that:
I spoke with people from the Cubs. The man who grabbed the ball on the widely seen video had actually already helped the little boy get a ball earlier. The young man has a game used ball and a Javy Baez ball. All is well. Guy is A-OK so let it go people.
— David Kaplan (@thekapman) July 23, 2018
So wait, that little kid got two balls, one of which is signed and could get some coin on eBay, with help from that “stranger.” Now, I’m not saying that they’re the grifting duo of our time, but I am saying that they should probably show Lindsay Lohan how it’s really done.