When an initial photograph of Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt was released from that Sharon Tate movie Quentin Tarantino’s directing that nobody asked for, some of us got it confused and thought it was a still for a 70’s gay porn film and got excited. OK, maybe that was just me, but I digress. Well, I may not have been off the mark by too much, because Gus Van Sant is talking about how he was initially pitched to direct Brokeback Mountain and was trying to get Brad and Leo to be the ones to play hide the salami in the Wyoming wilderness.
Ang Lee ended up directing the film that starred Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal as star-crossed cowboys who liked to dabble in the dick. Gus said he was asked to direct first but ran into issues trying to cast the pic with the leading men du jour:
“I was working on it, and I felt like we needed a really strong cast, like a famous cast. That wasn’t working out. I asked the usual suspects: Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Ryan Phillippe. They all said no. Nobody wanted to do it.”
I’m surprised Matt passed up a good opportunity to mansplain the real issues of being gay, as that’s about the only diverse group he hasn’t given his opinions to! Anyway, Gus said he really messed up, because he probably should have just done Brokeback with lesser-known actors and called it a day. BS! My then-confused loins wouldn’t have their suspicions answered by any B-List actor anal banging. They needed to see Jake acting out the part of Sean Cody receiver to confirm the road ahead was a lifetime of rainbows, unicorns, and… uh… other things that happened in Brokeback Mountain.
Gus also said he was up to direct Call Me By Your Name, which is when I stopped reading the story, because it began to sound like everyone’s senile grandpa who claims he could have bought the land the Empire State Building is on before someone swindled him out of a deal. Coulda, shoulda, woulda, Gus!