Anyone who calls them the “friendly skies” these days better pass over what ever Quaalude they’re on, because that’s some good shit making you spew that BS. Nothing causes a commercial passenger jet to quiver its b-hole like seeing Naomi Campbell or Jonathan Rhys Meyers strolling up with their carry-on. Naomi has been kinda mellow since her tantrum golden years, but at least Jonathan is still out and about, providing reasons for every airline on the globe to keep a hefty security team on the payroll.
He was a dick to his wife on a flight the other week and ended up puffing on an e-cigarette. The airline powers didn’t exactly care about the screaming at his wife Mara Lane, but they did send the feds on his ass for vaping. JRM decided to sit down with Pappy Larry King to give his side of the story.
People notes Jonathan went on Larry King Now, and I’m really surprised the biggest takeaway was his antics on the airplane. Is nobody else looking at his Oompa Loompa foundation makeup?? Anyway, Jonathan blames the bad behavior on the airplane giving away their tickets. They eventually got on the plane, his wife went to sleep, and he apparently dabbled into the sin sauce… a huge no-no, since he’s a recovering alcoholic:
“We had our baby, who was teething at the time, and it was all kind of frustrating. So we eventually got on the flight and my wife went to sleep and I very stupidly decided to order a drink. When my wife found that I’d ordered a drink, she got very, very angry with me because I shouldn’t drink. It doesn’t suit me and I had been sober for a long time.”
Jonathan makes it sound like he was only briefly puffing on the e-cig before a flight attendant told him to cut the shit. He did, but they were still met at the gate by the police, since smoking of any kind on a flight is about as condoned as boning in the lavatory. JRM did the typical blow smoke up the fuzz’s b-hole maneuver in saying the L.A.P.D. were “incredibly kind” during their interrogation of him after the plane landed and then gritted his teeth and bellowed, “There, just as I rehearsed. Can we PLEASE MOVE ON NOW?”
He didn’t really say that, but Mara has been on social media basically apologizing on his behalf for spooking other passengers, and said the outburst was a result of his holistic quest to solve his anger issues in South America.
Someone really needs to get them a new publicist, because I nearly lost an eye from rolling it so hard at that excuse. Mara, just blame the outburst on the flight attendant running out of warm nuts like any other mile-high asshole! Give us something we can believe! The only thing anyone ever returns from South America with is a knack for singing the entire Evita soundtrack by memory!