Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 20, 2018 / Posted by:

The Abandoned Couch of Palm Bay, FL!

Abandoned couches are the unsung heroes of street trash. They provide a comfortable and luxurious home to many roaches, bed bugs, mice, rats, and all sorts of new diseases. They also provide a much-needed lounging place to a messy drunk who is too plastered to walk and just needs a minute to rest their body and soul after barfing into a gutter (I’m not saying I’ve been there, but I’ve been there). And they’ve SAVED LIVES! An abandoned couch is an important piece of any city, and one in Palm Bay, FL proved that again by bringing the people together!

WFTV says that for weeks upon weeks, a sad, lonely, bottom cushion-missing couch (it’s really more of a loveseat, but whatever) was cooing out “All By Myself” on the sidewalk on Palm Bay Road. The poor, lonely miserable Jennifer Aniston of couches had no living room to call its own and nobody to lovingly sit on it. So the people of Palm Bay changed that and came together to give that abandoned couch some love. They built a living room scene around it, and more and more people came to visit it. Look at this opulent scene!

Even world famous movie star Tom Cruise came to visit the best thing to come out of Palm Bay!

And so did international music sensation Marc Anthony!

Someone put together a Facebook page for the Abandoned Couch of Palm Bay to document its adventures, which sadly have now come to an end. Earlier this week, the city moved the biggest star in Palm Bay away because its star power was too much for that intersection to take.

So a plan has been put together to have me and my stuff removed by 4pm. This is mainly due to safety reasons. My location is too close to a main road/intersection that is already known for being somewhat dangerous.
Yes, I will most likely be going to the dump. I’m ok with that. This has been a blast and all of you have been great!
Stay tuned for more adventures……
God Bless.

On one hand, I am proud of the official state of fuckery coming together to uplift the spirit of an abandoned couch. But on the other hand, I am disappointed in them. I mean, sending that couch to the dump to die under a pile of seagull shit? I can’t believe that a local methhead didn’t fall in love with the couch, marry it in a beautiful ceremony sponsored by Walmart, move it into his trailer and later agree to star with it in a TLC series called My Wife: The Abandoned Couch. Get it together, Florida!

Pic: Facebook

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