Fresh off from refusing to apologize for his racist lyric about Korean eyes, Wiz Khalifa is getting more attention for a dumb dingle that fell out of his mouth. Wiz was on The Breakfast Club when he declared that a straight dude eating a whole banana in public is “sus,” which means it’s “suspect,” which means it looks like he’s sucking a dick and that’s 100% gay. Who knew that a dude who dresses like a Boca Raton grandma going to bingo would suffer from stage 10 fragile masculinity.
Wiz and Charlamagne tha God got into the gay banana talk because everyone was talking about fruits or some shit. Wiz gave Charlamagne a tip: unless you want to look like a flaming dick-sucking flamer, break the banana into pieces. For being such a giant “no homo” hetero, Wiz sure does think about dick a lot.
Wiz: You gotta break it in half. Cause if you bite a banana, you sus.
Charlamagne: Goddamn, Wiz. That’s how you want to start the interview off?
Wiz: If you a n**ga, n**gas gotta break the banana in half. Pause.
Charlamagne: What you mean? You just peel it and bite it.
Wiz: No see, that’s the thing. You gotta break it in pieces, bro.
Charlamagne: Whyyyyy? It’s just a fruit.
Wiz does have a point. Even though I am a big homo, I don’t want to look like one while eating a banana. So what I do is I lube up the banana with Crisco, pull my chonies down and then shove it up my ass. Your body absorbs the nutrients faster that way, anyway.
The gay banana talk is in the beginning:
Since Wiz really cares about looking gay, he should take a tip from Chelsea Peretti and mush the banana up and lick it like he’s licking a cooze if a cooze was like a mushed banana.
But really, Wiz Khalifa probably doesn’t eat a banana whole, because he can’t. Every time he puts a hard banana to his lips, it goes soft and rottens. I understand, banana.