The producers of Days of Our Lives, Young and the Restless, and whatever other soap opera is still on the air should really hire Duchess Meghan’s melodramatic father Thomas Markle to write for them, because he’s bringing the twists, turns and theatrical drama. Thomas was supposed to walk Meghan down the aisle, but when it came out that he staged embarrassing pap pics, he had a heart attack and eventually pulled out of the wedding completely because he needed to have surgery.
One of Meghan’s unnamed friends is now telling The Daily Mail that Thomas’ heart attack and surgery was about as fake as Prince Hot Ginge’s denial that he’s really in love with an old skinny fat blogger from California. The friend claims Thomas faked a heart attack to get sympathy from the public and to also get out of going to the wedding. The creators of The Crown better send Thomas his favorite thing, a stack of cash, as a thank you for giving them some serious ESCANDALOSONESS for season 8.
Thomas very recently pissed off Meghan and PHG by running his mouth to the tabloids and saying that he wants to connect with her since he had a heart attack and could die soon. Thomas’ daughter Samantha Markle also laid it on thick by tweeting that if he dies, his blood will be on Meghan’s hands since she is ignoring him. But the source says that the only kind of sickness that Thomas suffers from is shamelessness.
“The whole story about Meghan’s father undergoing heart surgery was made up. He had to come up with a good enough reason not to attend her wedding and avoid any further embarrassment after those staged photos went public. The poor health story was his way of generating some compassion from the public, and taking the attention off those staged photos which were a complete embarrassment to Meghan and the royal family.”
Excuse you, Meghan’s “friend“! Thomas was papped at McDonald’s and KFC just two days after having a heart attack. If I had a heart attack, I too would fill my insides with gourmet deliciousness while I still could.
The friend seemed to say that Meghan knew her dad was putting on an act and that’s why she never visited him.
“It was really just such poor judgement on his part. Now everyone’s feeling sorry for him. They shouldn’t. He brought this upon himself and if he were truly sick Meghan would have made an effort to visit him. Don’t feel sorry for him. If anything, feel sorry for Meghan.”
The Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative reporters at The Daily Mail called up the hospital where Thomas Markle allegedly had the surgery, and they were told that no such name ever checked in. I’m not sure if a hospital would give out that info, but to call The Daily Mail fraudulent is to call journalism as a whole fraudulent, so I’ll go with it.
If this story is true and Thomas faked a heart attack and surgery, then I’m disappointed in him for not going all the way. Thomas should’ve accidentally been papped on the streets of Rosarito Beach, clutching his chest with one hand while using his other hand to hold a phone that clearly showed a message from Meghan (aka Samantha Markle with a burner phone) that read: I don’t want your embarrassing low-class trash ass at my wedding. You are dead to me! If you’re going to be a greedy attention whore then never miss an opportunity to get a check for being a greedy attention whore.
And I wonder who Meghan’s unnamed “friend” is….
Not pictured: THE QUEEN holding a Snausage over that Corgi’s face while whispering, “Tell ’em that blooming twat faked it all!”