Look at those shimmering, glistening, wieners. Wieners that have been saved after Costco dumped them because of health stuff. And it’s all thanks to the champion of vaguely-Polish tube meats, Sam’s Club. Another example of not all heroes wearing capes, although I guess that little paper hot dog sheet could double as one.
Sam’s Club has stepped up to the plate and announced they’re selling Polish hot dogs. This news comes less than a week after Costco announced they’re replacing the Polish hot dog with healthier options like an acai bowl and a plant-based protein salad. Costco and Sam’s Club are both membership-only warehouse clubs, except Sam’s Club is owned and operated by Walmart. Finally, a reason to actually want to go to a Walmart store.
Sam’s Club dropped the good news on Twitter last week, but it picked up steam after they made the announcement on Instagram yesterday. Polish dogs will be available at all Sam’s Club cafés starting July 23, for $0.99 each. If you can’t wait six days, I suppose you could always roll up to your nearest IKEA and get down on a couple of their sad $0.50 dogs. And if that’s not going to work for you, why not call up your local hospital and ask if they’ll slip you into a medically-induced 6-day coma? And when they remind you that’s a danger to your health, just politely reassure them the bigger danger lies when you wake up and blow through $10 worth of Polish dogs. I’m sure they’ll be fine with it.