Stormy Daniels Was Arrested At An Ohio Strip Club For Allegedly Letting An Undercover Cop Motorboat Her (UPDATE) 

July 12, 2018 / Posted by:

UPDATE: All the charges against Stormy have been dropped, because the Ohio law is only meant for regular strip club strippers. Stormy was a featured guest dancer. The judge already threw the charges out, and that’s that. Poor “Deric Dump” (see my “joke” below) had to bruise his one brain cell by trying to figure out how to call the cops in Columbus for nothing! The cops also claim that they weren’t targeting Stormy. They were there to look into complaints of drugs and hooking.

Here’s the original story:

The shit Stormy Daniels was put into handcuffs for may have been stupid and a complete waste of everyone’s time, but at least she brought it in her mug shot, and gave that camera heaping servings of beauty, glamour, and intrigue with that yellow-haired Jaqueline Smith Charlie’s Angels seasons 1 hair and those smoky vengeance eyes. Stormy really needs to do a YouTube beauty tutorial showing us how to paint your face up so it remains stunning even under the harsh beauty-hating lighting of a police station.

CNN says that Stormy Daniels, the porn star and one-time fuck partner of Donald Trump (as in, they only fucked once) who is suing him for defamation, was arrested late last night at Sirens strip club in Columbus, OH for letting a customer touch her. The customer happened to be an undercover cop named Officer Mary Prather. Stormy is accused of touching Officer Mary’s ass and breasts before motorboating her. Ohio law states that a stripper who gets naked or semi-naked can only touch a customer if they’re related to that customer. Jabba the Trump is definitely cackling over one of his many rivals getting arrested, but he’s also making a mental note that if for some reason Ivanka has to become a stripper, she needs to do so in Ohio.

Stormy’s lawyer Michael Avenatti took a little break from going through the horny notes that his thirsty fans slide into his DMs (I’m looking at you, Mieka) to tweet that Stormy was definitely the victim of a sting, and that usually strip clubs reek of Victoria’s Secret fruit lotion on the stripper’s skin, hairspray, sweaty dollar bills, and moistened dick tips, but Sirens smelled like a shakedown last night.

Stormy paid the $6,054 bail and was released. She has a hearing tomorrow morning.

TMZ points out that one of Stormy’s signature moves is motorboatin’ customers. They also heard from a witnesses who said that cops in Columbus definitely put a target on Stormy’s ass, or tits in this case. Undercover vice cops were waiting at the back of the club until she took the stage. They also arrested two other strippers last night, because I guess they didn’t want it to look totally obvious that they were solely targeting Stormy. The whole “strippers can’t be touched even with permission” law was passed in 2007 in Ohio, and for ten years, cops made 21 arrests under that law. But in 2018 alone, they’ve arrested 22 strippers.

Now, I’m not saying that Columbus PD got a call from a slobbery nutsack who said, “Yes, officers, I’d like to give you a anonanuss tip and no, my name doesn’t rhyme with Deric Dump. I’d like to report that Stormy Daniels will get her nudie boobies touched at Sirens tonight. Hehehe, I said nudie boobies. Did I do good, Brother Donny?“, but I am saying that happened.

It is a sad day in Ohio when strippers can’t shake their chichi bowls in the face of stripclub-goer for some dollars. Ohio strip clubs are going to need to hire former member of the teabag gestapo, Tina from Pecker, to slap motorboatin’ strippers with her anti-teabagging paddle. How dreadful. And this is what the police in Columbus are spending their time on? Taylor Swift sang live during her show in Columbus last weekend, and she wasn’t arrested for hurting ears. Priorities: the Columbus PD needs to get theirs in check.

Pic: Franklin County Sheriff’s Office

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